Cyber-ed.

So. Sometime of February of 2010, I was playing Runescape, to bring back old memories. I got a message from a guy I knew, named Jake. He is 16 and lives in Michigan. I was simply excited that he remembered me after a year of leaving Runescape and he simply made me happy that day. We started talking a lot. I gave him my phone number, which was a stupid mistake I made. For a couple of weeks we talked over Runescape, until he got his phone back, because as of the time his phone was broken.

Sometime towards the end of February to the beginning of March, I got a text saying “Hey it’s Jake.” I just got up from a long nap after school. Despite my grouchy mood of that day, I answered my phone in sudden excitement. Sometime, after we had talked for a long time, continuous, we decided to go out. Note that I live in Indiana, he lives in Michigan.

On March 5th, me and him had began to become official. I told all my friends, everyone was happy for me. Sometime, around the middle of March, I asked him to get a facebook. Of course, he listened and got one. I was truley happier than a Bird with a french fry. He was sweet, and amazing. He seemed to perfect for words, and I was excited that he was mine.

For months we talked. I became overwhelmed with love. Sometime in June, I was anxious to talk to him on the phone. I never really liked talking on the phone, I just figured I needed to hear his voice. So, I begged him, and that didn’t work. Many nights I sat up crying, threatening to kill myself. We got into a huge fight about me not being able to send him letters to the point of me leaving my phone for 20 minutes to take a shower. At the moment I got back to my phone it said “2 missed calls and 1 new voicemail”  I was stilll pissed off, I just decided I would take a listen to the voicemail. His voice was adorable. I wanted more.

So from the day after that, we talked on the phone every night. In depth convos, about our future. We we’re going to meet, have kids, have a cute little family. It was all too perfect.

Since I really couldn’t go all the way up to Michigan to see him everyday, we had to “cyber”. Not bad, just like cuddling and stuff. It was really nice when I was upset, which was usually all the time.

One day, my mom and I decided to book a cottage in Cedar Point so I could go visit him. We planned that we’d invite him to come with us. I was too excited for words. Our relationship was quite serious at this point, and I really.. really wanted to meet him. Finally I asked him, he said He’d try to come.

A Couple days after that, I went to my mom’s work. We ate McDonalds and I was laying on the ground, curled up on a blanket, crying.  I asked him why he couldn’t come. He said he wanted to meet me, but not yet. Me being as emotional as I am, I cried.. and cried. I went to our van and curled up on the seat. I called him, and cried to him on the phone. I was too upset for words. I took the seat belt to my neck and wraped it tight around. I sat there for 5 minutues trying to breathe till finally letting it go, because I couldn’t take the pain.

Many times before that day, I cutted, I tried tying belts around my neck. Anything. But never could get the guts to do it.

So, a day after my van crying incident, I was at home, excited that he was really gonna try to come and see me. He told me him and his sister were going to plan a trip to Cedar Point. I was extremley happy.

Later that night, I called him talked to him for about 10 minutues till he told me he wasn’t feeling too good. I believed him and let him just text me. I was folding laundry and I got a text saying  “I need to tell you something Important, Promise you won’t hurt yourself, hate me, or stop talking to me.”

Of course, I loved him too much to hate him. Later I got a text saying “Im not Jake.. Jake doesn’t exist.. Im a girl.”

Turns out for 5 months I had a relationship with a girl, not knowing this until then.

Im completley straight, im not bi, or lesbian. But I didn’t know this. I shared every part of my life with her.

This happened on July 31st 2010 and as of right now, I have no contact with her. I have cried for the last couple days of our “fake relationship break up” She blocked my number, and deleted the Jake facebook.

She used a guy’s picture, whom she didn’t have permission. He was hot, she went to school with him.

Now, Im heartbroken.. and scared.

Thanks for reading..