History repeats itself….

The person I loved treated me as shit. He left suddenly after a year’s relationship. Then he came back after 6 months and I accepted him. The biggest mistake of my life?- well not really but one of the worst for sure.
We were happy. He introduced me to his new group of friends @ MBA class. Once he joked about seeing a beautiful girl in a university programme. “I wanna flirt with her if u dont mind….,” he said. Then on January 30th, I was playing with his phone and noticed a “heaven” saved. He argued its a girl who keeps calling him, bothering him. He saved it as Heaven for fun. I almost agreed…but the name flashed before my eyes. I took his phn again and saw it was a outgoing call. Then he said its the girl his family chose for marriage. And he has no way out of this. He has been going out with her for 3 months. I was terribly hurt. I slapped him, cried….he tried to reason me.
It was one of his MBA friends I talked to. That friend told me the real story. While he was with me, caring for me, sleeping with me, he met the girl in a programme. He then flirted, took her to his parents and decided to get married. It was not arranged, it was love. I felt betrayed…..too much for me to take. It came to an end when in Feb 14th, he gifted the chocolates I presented him. My head was blank. He said not to call him now as she may feel bad. I put the phn down. Got 40 sleeping pills out of my roommate’s bad. Swallowed one by one. I was not feeling bad, hurt, happy…anything. Then I lied down and after some time…i was unconscious.
To let u know I dont have ties with my parents and I have no friends near me.
That night dont know why my cousin called me many times. After a while my room mate picked up and described my state. I was living in a hostel and the authority did not wanna take up any trouble. They were to throw me out. My cousin called all the relatives I had in the city. Noone came. Noone called. Some hung up on her. She then called a long lost friend, who lived nearby. God knows why he responded. He was in my hostel in 10 mins and I was admitted to a hospital in half an hour.
I was in the ICU for 2 days. That friend and one of my roommate stayed there all night. When I got back, my hostel super told me to leave.
I dont know why I am alive today. Things r not going right. Again I am on the verge of quitting.
Why do people betray? If u get involved with someone, just say so….why did he play games with me? Did he gain anything from it?
Its been 6 months now. And know what….I am surprised….my current bf is going the same way as my ex. I am weaker than before. I lost my first child a month ago. Now I live alone. Noone will knock if I lock myself in. This time maybe I will succeed.