I’ve been planning to kill myself but also in the process I’ve been trying to find a reason to stay alive. I’m struggling.
Today, for the first time in ages I switched on the TV and I don’t know if I’ve finally gone mental but all the faces on the TV just seem ridiculous, I have noticed that even people’s facial expressions are fake these days. Then earlier I was googling something and came across a yahoo answers question link, I ended up just out of boredom just looking at other questions (this was the first time I had been on this site). The questions I was looking at were non religious, just random things but it on one of the questions the guy who posted it was complaining that christians were bombarding his post so he politely pointed out that his question was non religious and so could they please leave him alone. Well they bombarded him even more! And they were really aggressive. One of the posts mentioned that christians do this all the time on the yahoo answers site and so I viewed lots of other questions and it was the case. They jumped onto sites that had no religious matters involved but they for some weird reason (as if they were robots or on drugs) add onto the post about jesus and god and the bible, it was pretty scary to tell you the truth.The whole thing has just depressed me beyond belief. Before this, I had no opinion about christians one way or another, well, in fact, I guess I assumed that they were nice people if anything but nothing beyond that. After tonights experience, I feel pretty disgusted by it all. Even religious people are total ar@eholes that have no respect for anyone else. No-one has any respect for anyone else in this god damn world, everyone is awful. This is HELL. Either that or I’m stuck in a f@cking zombie movie.
3 comments
Indeed you are true about most people in this world. It almost seems like you are a different plane of exsistance. I reciently posted a story today during my part time job (because I apparently I dont need full time work according to society) and was wondering wtf was going on. Its like I am behind this window watching everyone go about their meezly lives as if they have a purpose. whats even worse is that you cannot get a head. It seems that everyone is getting free rides and you have to pay the toll everywhere you go. On and on the same bull crap and fake smiles day in and day out. Sometime I get home and vomit because I am trying to tell my brain reason. It will not listen. I am not smart enough to get a free ride nor am I stupid enough. This existance has 3 planes of existance. Cracks – which some people get stuck in and all they can do is look up (maybe its hell). Life – which all the other people people exsist and walk and all you can do is look up from the cracks and watch people with their fake smiles and order and laws with purpose. Truth – this plane can only be seen buy the people from the cracks and in order to get there they have to die. Most of these people who go about life dont care about people in the cracks or the truth. Kinda makes sense huh. Think about it.
It is understandable that you feel frustrated at “Christians”. They are not all like that. I know we expect more from them because of what they are supposed to believe in and by what they represent. But they are not exempt just because of their beliefs – they are just as flawed as the rest of the world.
I have had a really hard time getting over how my doctor, who’s supposed to be helping me, has been making things much worse and has caused me much emotional pain. I feel abandoned by him. And it bothers me even more that he’s a “Christian”. I know because he goes to my church. Sometimes it just infuriates me. Sometimes it absolutely disgusts me that he goes there. What right does he have to be there? He’s wronged me – he’s causes more harm than done good. And yet I have to stop and remember that people are people. They’re all flawed. Most of them seem fake. It’s no different whether you go to church or to Walmart. It’s just the way this crazy life is.
I like how Zeke2010 puts it. We’re all kinda on different planes. I don’t think it matters whether what your gender is, what your race is, where you were born, or what faith you do or don’t believe in. Anybody can be on a different “plane”.
But there are good and true people out there, be they male or female, Christian or not. But they just seem few and far between.
To my dearest swimmer 2000:
Hope that all is well with you:) I would just like to make a comment on your post. I do not believe that the people who attack those posts were coming to those people from GOD’s true point of view, moreso their religion’s opinion. You must understand that religion is a serious thing that causes people to act with no regard to other people and it permits a way for people to blame GOD and other so called gods to get their bias point of view, thoughts, opinions and ideas across. I am also disgusted to a certain extent when I see so christians (really religious people) acting as if they have no ounce of care, respect and true considerations for the thoughts, opinions and ideas for others. It sucks!
However, I must admit that I am a christian. I solely follow Jesus Christ and refuse to be in bondage of those religious hypocrites. I focus only on my personal relationship with my true eternal KING. Even so swimmer2000, I am nothing like those inconsiderate, disrespectful, bias religious people. I respect others opinions whether I agree or not, I show consideration for those that are hurting despite color, race, religion, age gender or any other category used to divide us. I guess I am here to say…do not allow your opinion of those people to cause you to judge the rest of us that are genuinely true!
Even so, I hope that all is well with you and that you have the strength to cope with every situation that you are going through. I hope that you will not allow the horrors of this world to get the best of you and force you to give up. Try to find the best that this world has to offer and the good that their is in life and you will truly see that the world is not 100% evil. There are still some good people left out here in this world and there still is a lot joy left to be found:). Be safe my dear.
P.S If you ever need someone to speak to about anything that is bothering you or that concerns you, then you can contact me at angeloflight91.com. It would be my honor to assist. May peace be with you:)