I am writing here just to say how I feel. I have been fighting off suicidal thoughts again for a few days now even though I don’t WANT to or PLAN to do anything about it, the thoughts just come, not that I want to kill myself but I just don’t want to live anymore, I can’t look forward to anything, do anything that I enjoy, or even see that I can do anything to make this different. I have a relative in bad shape from a stroke and another who it has just been pointed out to me is about to die and I am just sitting trying to divert my mind from feeling anything when I am home.
I am seeing someone twice a month but have not been totally honest about how bad off I really am, I just kept hoping I could pull myself out of this and get better before anyone else had to know.
I can not stop crying again this morning I HATE thinking these kinds of thoughts.