and so the world keeps spinning

  October 24th, 2010 by hattie

for a long time now, ive found that everyday of my life is just something else to ‘get through’ i make little goals for my self and slowly but surely i get through my days, weeks, months. i think, “today, i have this and this and this, then i can sleep, and i have to wake up and do this and this and this… then it wil only be 3 days till the weekend, where i can hide away in my room, and be shit at life.”

i have mile stones, like holidays, or a long weekend, that i have even bigger count downs to… but really, the fact that everything about my life is like one big to-do-list is not a good sign. its not worth it. life like this isnt living, its just being. its not worth it. my life means nothing, nothing is achievedd by me living, nothing would be worse off if i werent here, nothing would even change, the world would not blink.

just to emphasise how pathetic i am, i have made it through 17 years of life without a boyfriend, at all, ever. can i just point out that even the ugliest of ugly get boyfriends, and im not amazing, but im not ugly… so what do i learn from a fact like this….. that i have a shit personality, that im a *****, and not someone whose company is enjoyed.

just one question, why would somebody as useless as me be put on earth?

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