ONLY READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE OPEN MINDED, FUCK OFF RELIGIOUS SCUM.
It doesn’t matter anymore, nothing in this world matters, I see what this world for what it really is, in which it utterly disgusts me to the highest degree, everyone in this planet are sheep, they follow the norm and do what they are told, and none of you will realize it, and the majority of you will oppose what I say because it doesn’t suit your pathetic lives, believe me when I say this. This World is shit, this Universe is shit, I’m fucking tired of how everything is controlled, how everything is not what it seems, when everything you possess is not yours, your life is ran by Corporations, and the world elite, it doesn’t fucking matter what you do, every move is made by someone else, life is like a game of chess, and humans are the pawns. The media controls these pawns, their job is to KEEP you asleep, and they are doing their job very well, failure is NOT an option for them. There is no such thing as self liberation, there is no such thing as freedom, these things are propaganda only, and nothing but. Every ad, or sign uses symbolic symbolism and subliminal messaging in the same way the media does with News broadcasts, they are designed to limit free think to the utmost low level, why do you think entertainment was created? Definitely not created what you thought it was created for, was created for the sole purpose of keep humans occupied as much as possible. What do you think schools were created for? to indoctrinate their students to their specific agenda which is supplied by the Government of course, the Government Schoolboard agenda is designed to keep students asleep and to believe everything they are taught…false. The secret societies of this universe are doing everything in their agenda to keep their human sheep within the fence. Everything in this universe was designed and created for a purpose, and it’s going accordingly. No this speech was NOT written as hate, I am typing this for the fact how I feel about this universe and this world we reside on, I feel like shit all the time, constant suffering, no this isn’t the only reason why I feel this way, of course many other things in this lie of a life, but I’m not going to gain any benefit from explaining my personal problems, don’t bother flaming my post, nor will I flame other posts I read other posts respectfully, and I respect their decisions to either continue on with life or to destroy themselves, because to me it doesn’t matter, nothing does, every single person on this planet is the same to me, and I wish luck to all those who decide to destroy themselves.
Regards, Malfeitor aka Abhorrence
8 comments
I do completely agree; maybe I haven’t offed myself because i’m afraid? But, think about it. There are people who care about you, and I know you were angry when you wrote this, i’ve done similar things. But what if the person who finds you cared about you? Think how devastating that would be. Maybe i’m just sensitive, but I think about that all the time. I’ve tried to kill myself before, and I know that the person who finds you and has to call the cops has the worst feeling in the world. I hate to sound like a *****, but have a little sensitivity. (I’m not trying to imply a religious view point for the record).
I’ve learned lately to try to not get so angry about being a pawn, since it is inevitable; don’t get mad at them if they don’t even know who you are. Sure, life sucks…But I try to look forward to things. Even if I don’t know what to exactly anticipate. I personally find joy in writing and smoking pot. Maybe you like something? I just try not to get too angry as I used to. I don’t see the use anymore…
I still agree with you on the decision whether a person want to continue his/her life or to destroy him/herself through suicide etc. this is very cliche, but yet I’ve learned that it is very true also: life is all about a choice, a choice that we’re making, no matter where our circumstances at.
But several things if I may point out for the ‘other’ side of perspective:
One, no it’s not the Universe. but it’s the SOCIETY that you probably hate.
To me personally, I have learned that the universe is actually a place full of wonders, beauty, and unsolved mystery. We humans are still only tiny fragments of the universe -to put in a grander scheme of things- so we are still only learning very LITTLE about this vast Universe, and only *starting* to understand things.
Two, as ‘bleak’ as you might think it is, the reality is that not everything is *controlled* by the government.
Look at the Internet nowadays. and look at what we’re doing here on this website, for example. We are FREE to voice our opinions. and there’re even some recent events (from my country and I’m sure also other countries these days) that the power ‘ordinary citizen’ voicing over just a small blog or social-networking site have CHANGED the bigger course of history, like fighting the injustices and corrupt government. so there is still *hope*, especially in this ‘modern-connected’ 21st century of ours, compared to the past centuries of Holocaust, Dark Ages, tribal era, etc.
And school, as much as you think it is *designed* for specific agenda, IMO it’s in the end depends on the man behind the gun: YOU yourself, and what you’re gonna use all the basic knowledges like now you’re able to speak and write English well (from school), do basic computations (from school!), know the history of humankind, and also of advances in science and our progress as mankind (from school!), biology, physics, even religions: there is always something very invaluable from each of them that we can LEARN from. and then choose to USE it and APPLY it to shape a better future, to *change* what can be changed,…or just to waste it into the dustbin.
And then again, knowledges are *NOT* only coming out from school. we can always learn and gain knowledges from reading books, Internet (hail Internet!), and even from our keen observations and experiences of everyday’s life.
It’s very cliche, but sometimes it’s really a matter of seeing the glass half-empty or half-full. with Life is the same.
The choice is always at our hand. We always have a choice, no matter how ‘dark’, bleak, or dire is the circumstance. Google these two great figures: Viktor Frankl, and Hellen Keller. and look what they’ve accomplished where they could always easily said they ‘give up this earthly life’ anytime.
at least now the fact is YOU are *living* and breathing here on Earth. and that itself is already amazing, isn’t it? it’s up to you what you want to do with it.
Life is all about a choice.
Wow 2 amazing posts.. Malfeitor I understand what you say completely and this is what has gotten me down A LOT in the past. Still does sometimes now when i think of my circumstances such as paying debt off. Nowadays I have an aim.. after I pay my debt off I want to travel the world, and Ive found someone to do it with (I think he was sent for me as Id been really suicidal when he turned up) so yeh.. I want to see the beauty of the world. I dont want the normal average joe life like getting a career and raising 4 kids. This society we live in is rubbish and IMO its only going to get worse. Im only 24 and Ive seen it change so much since i was a teenager. But the world, the mountains, the forests, the waterfalls and volcanoes, the jungles, the hot springs…. the world is beautiful… so amazing. Niki.. beautiful post.. really touched me 🙂
-Sarah
@PrettyinPunk: there you go. take the clue. listen to what your inner-voice always saying (it will never lie to you). and just go for it.
it’s what I’m also going to do.
and if anyone disagrees or object with what I’m about to do, screw ’em.
it’s MY life. not anyone’s else.
and I refuse to be a *pawn*. I’ll show the world that I WON’T be a pawn,
that I can “Be the Change I want to see in this world” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
and nothing’s going to stop me.
fuck no, my breathes is way too expensive to follow someone else’s path.
“it’s never fun at the end of our lives to say we have lived the dreams of others” – Joe Jahn
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.†– Ralph Waldo Emerson
take heart and courage by what these important figures said and testified about their journey of life:
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved” – Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But NO price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
sorry, an incomplete sentence there, let me fix and add one more:
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.†– Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.†– Courtney Sue
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.†– Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)
This is one of my favourite sayings..
I do always listen to my inner voice as It has never lied to me in the past.
~Sarah
Well, thanks for your opinions, I have read them thoroughly and respect them.
@clarasucks, “There are people who care about you”
well no, there is those who are supposed to care, but only pretend to,
because they only care about themselves, it’s a selfish world.
I have endured enough of what the people who were supposed to care, “supposedly cared about” to know that it’s just a mask, for example…I’m quite sure the majority of us on this site wear a mask to hide our true emotional feelings, trying to look happy to others, you catch my drift?
Yes, I was quite in a enraged frenzy, tempered frustration is a given with clinical depression, and I have no otherway of releasing this anger. I used to write music, and perform, but that has been shattered, and clinical depression prevents me from doing the things I used to enjoy such as writing music. I then started going out on walks in the forests on dark cold winter nights, it helped alot especially with the music as your company, but even that I can’t do, everything around me sickens me to mere death.
As for smoking pot, sure it helps, but, I’ve had way too many severe anxiety attacks, but yes it does help depression while the high lasts, but then i have to deal with anxiety so it’s either A-deal with clinical depression, and anxiety or B-deal with temporary relief of depression and deal with severe anxiety attacks.
Thanks for the post (btw, don’t worry about sounding weak or like a *****, nobody here should feel that way)
@niki – “One, no it’s not the Universe. but it’s the SOCIETY that you probably hate”, ok, not going to argue about this one but, the way I see things, are a bit different then how you would see things. I see this universe as a giver and supplier of life, in a massive abundance, everything contained within this universe is life, or living, as you’ve already guess, I’m Anti-life, so stars, planets, everything is consisted of life, and I want it all to revert to chaos.
About the school comment, yes you are right, I forgot about that, but however that can all be self taught so, 50/50 with you on that one.
Yes life is all about choices, but you may think you are making a decision, but the way I see it, NO MATTER WHAT decision you make it will all lead up to the same bullshit, happens to me everytime, and it still does not change the fact you are being pulled by strings.
@prettyinpunk, thanks for understanding, it’s greatly appreciated, I’m glad this site has some open minded people.