Bloodshot

I started cutting when I was twelve. It’s three years later and I still can’t stop. Every time I try there’s always another reason to start again. There is no one here that I can trust. My Dad has betrayed our family,by recently quitting his job not even trying to find another one because he could care less what happens to our family. My Mom told me last night how she would leave if she had a job to support me and my little sister. We’re losing our house cause we can’t afford to live in it anymore, and all I can think about is how my sister and I have to leave behind everything we know to live with two people who could care less about each other. Every night it’s the same arguments, the same “I hate you’s”, the same slamming doors and screaming voices. I wish I could say I don’t want to leave, but the two people I care about most in the world, the girl I’ve been best friends with for four years and the boy I’ve been in love with for three years, chose tonight to betray me. They’ve been the two who’ve always helped with my depression and my cutting and now they’re just making it worse. I’ve wanted to die since I was young, wanted to slice my veins open and watch myself bleed out until there was no more blood left. Everyday there just seems like more and more reasons to do so. I want to, but I know I can’t leave behind my little sister. I don’t know what I’d do without her. At this point she’s the only reason I’m still alive. I wonder if any of them would’ve betrayed me if they knew how deeply I’d be cutting tonight.