empty </3

my name is victor my age 17 my life lost

1 was born addicted to meth as a child and was adopted into a none compatable family in my mind i was singled out so i always felt alone and grew up to trust know one and so in jr. high i became  very ………dark and started to cut my self 4 times i ended up in the hospital for attempted suicide i suceeded 2 then i fell in love with a girl whos eyes can turn stars jouluse and a heart filled with love i dated her 6 months her name trinda she tryed to help me stop with my cutting and i turned it down over and over agian but the  sad thing is i never knew it i loved her and when she told me lets be friend i knew i could never just be friends with her andeven though she tore out my heart she showed that cuting took everything my family my friends ……my love.and even though we ‘ve broken up i never refer to her as an ex girlfriend i consider her my first love i am still willing to take bullet for her even if she wont look at me let alone talk about me but i refused to beileve  she doesnt think of me even if its bad thoughts she still thinks a bout me i learned at a very young age that to be forgiven you need to forgive the one who hurt you and more inportent fogive your self i am here  i am i live because i had pushed through the piont of death yet i feel empty and i need some one to under stand