I have it all but it’s not enough in Sunny California

I’m  33/Hispanic/male in Southern California. I’ve always done good and people say I got it better than most. I worked for the same company from 21-30 years old and made good money, then I got my DREAM job. Although things are slow because of the economy, I know pretty soon things are going to get better. I work in the international cargo trade industry. And although I have good friends and family, buy nice things and go out pretty often, I’ve never felt whole. I feel so sad, so often, as is i’ve missed something good by mere moments. I wish all people were good and I do what I can to make people happy but somehow it’s never enough. I always wish that people would work together to make each other happy but I’ve learned that in this world, that will never be. If you try to tell people your troubles: Half don’t care and the other half are happy that it’s happening to you. Everyday I wake up feeling like today will be better but it’s not. It’s a never-ending cycle of good and bad and will continue until the day I die. So i say, why prolong it, cut the b.s out and go where it is we go after. I’m not very religious but I know there can’t be a place of more suffering than here on earth. Every time I read or hear of someone committing suicide, I can’t help to think: they did it, wow, that could be me. But I also read about the “people they left behind”. There will always be people directly and indirectly affected by a suicide. I could never let myself be responsible for causing good people more pain, sorrow, and torment as I know most people in this world are suffering every day. If you or anyone want to connect or talk my email is thexwolf@aol.com