I know that I will do it eventually, I’ve already had one attempt. I’m terrified of being sent back to the psych ward I was in if I survive, which is why I must NOT survive. If I combine a few methods then it’ll (hopefully) reduce the chance of survival. I hate summer (I’m Australian). Every time I think of surviving I come close to having a panic attack, life can’t go on, but death doesn’t come so easily when you want it. This sucks. This is hell.