fuck this

This is a space I can understand. You feel like everything is against you, the people who you thought were good turn out to be self serving fuckwits who abandon you as soon as you mess up. Depression fucking sucks, it’s so hard to change your thought processes. You can only see happiness in a dead past and feel like nothings left. But there’s gotta be something more out there, search for it as I am, find a dream however stupid it seems, remember what made you happy in the past and try in time to find substitutes for those things that can be found in the furure. I still feel sucidal a lot but not as much as I used to so there is some hope that if you stick at it then the thoughts can fade. I thought no one would understand depression outside of counselors but some people can actually see past the madness and remember who you were because it is a illness and it’s not who you are. Find some good people and have some faith. Some people suck, either cut off or just keep relationships with them superfical because they will drag you down and concentrate on the few (maybe just one) person who cares. Life throws a lot of shit your way and you don’t deserve it but if you give in then the fuckwits win and we can’t have that.