Im 27, a text book daughter without a father, died when I was 5.
I thought he was the one…the one that would see the value in me…to fill that space I need so much to be filled. Im tired of walking around with just this shell…like a puppet, smile when Im suppose to smile, laugh when Im suppose to laugh. He filled me…I only wish someone loved me as much as I loved him…was my unconditional love not enough? I would kill for that….thats all I have ever wanted.
Why cant anyone see that…see me? Where the f*ck are all my “friends” when they know Im hurting so much. Im tired of being so strong. All I want is to just let myself fall apart as someone holds on to me…is that so much to ask? No one wants the responsibility…Im just so tired.
Im tired of the pain. Im tired of struggling. I dont have the strength to hope anymore…..I just want peace. I dont exactly want to end my own life…Im a coward…but I wish I would die. I have only enough strength to wish and hope to be struck down dead tomorrow and that my cats, the only thing I value, will be taken care of.