Once again the health system has failed me. After waiting for two years for a diagnosis for chronic pain, my operation was scheduled for this month on the 10th. But of course nothing can go right for me, so it was canceled. Awesome, right. This was supposed to stop my pain and take me off of my pain meds, which meant that the doctors could start me on my anti depressants. But now this isnt going to happen for months. I have no faith at all that i will make it that far. It has been soo hard to wait this long and my mental state worries me constantly. I have no hope that this will ever happen, therefore i just know that my depression will get worse again. I was so excited for this operation, counting down the days even. Now what do i do? I only see one way out, an escape from the pain and my emotional thoughts. I must say goodbye.
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3 comments
Shanny…i am here to talk to you if you want. I know your situation must be really hard to deal with. but AT LEAST there are solutions…
I am neutral here.I am not gonna try to talk u out of anything or encourage u into doing anything. I just think it will help you if you talk about how you feel more often with people… do u want to talk?
I don’t know you or completely understand what you’re going through. But I remember I heard the saying “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” From what you’re saying, you can have the surgery to rectify your chronic pain. But you just have to wait a bit longer to have it done. Consider it a test of strength. By the time you have your surgery and feel great again you’ll be so glad you’re alive to enjoy it. Hang in there, champ. I’m rooting for you.
I may not have experience in this feild, but what i do have experience with, is depression. it’s not easy, i can promise you that. but, how are you expecting others to have faith in you, when you don’t have faith in yourself? never loose hope. the pain may not stop tomorrow, or even 7 years for now, God gave you this life because he knew you were strong enough to live it. you can make it, i know you can.