Once againÂ the health system has failed me. After waiting for two years for a diagnosis for chronic pain, my operation was scheduled for this month on the 10th. But of course nothing can go right for me, so it was canceled. Awesome, right. This was supposed to stop my pain and take me off of my pain meds, which meant that the doctors could start me on my anti depressants. But now this isnt going to happen for months. I have no faith at all that i will make it that far. It has been soo hard to wait this long and my mental state worries me constantly. I have no hope that this will ever happen, therefore i just know that my depression will get worse again. I was so excited for this operation, counting down the days even.Â Now what do i do? I only see one way out, an escape from the pain and my emotional thoughts. I must say goodbye.