god help us find you

please god show us light show us a sign , something to hold on ,please end this agony and paid ,give me happiness , why i have to suffer when everybody around me having fun,i know i have committed sins i failed to abide by the rule you set for engaging in sex , i know i watch porn , don’t give time to my parents , sometimes drinks too,but haven’t i kneel down and bow down and burst into tears when nothing seems meaningful, i ask for your forgiveness and mercy oh mercy full lord bless me bless me please