I get this feeling
that I don’t feel the same way
I can’t smile or cry
or laugh or hurt
in quite the same way
and you say it
try to explain it
and I understand the words
can comprehend the thoughts
but I just don’t entirely
feel the same way
and it’s so lonely
I’m isolated
because I can’t possibly
feel the same way
and this feeling
of not quite feeling
I can’t describe it
it’s not so empty
but kind of empty
I feel defeated
at a loss for words
to make anyone at all
feel the same way
25 comments
I want to say that I know how that is. How you can be surrounded by people but you feel like you’re staring at them through a glass wall. And that you shouldn’t feel lonley but you do. I’m sorry that you feel like that, that empty feeling. When do you start feeling that feeling? It certainly is hard to describe but it’s a feeling right.
I have a general sense of loneliness all the time. I mean nobody in my life knows that I go to therapy for depression and anxiety and being suicidal. Nobody except my therapist knows that I cut. And I come to this site to just pour my heart out when I feel like I can’t talk to anyone, or when I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I don’t really expect anyone in particular to listen or care, but it helps to just write out or at least try to write out what I’m feeling, and now I’m rambling, but anyway…this poem just comes from not really being able to relate to anyone. I mean I can listen to my friends talk and when they try to describe a particular feeling I think I know what they’re talking about, but when I try to describe it back to them, I get it wrong every time. And its just that frustration of not being able to ever make anyone understand or not being able to understand myself, if that makes any sense at all
Nice poem.
thanks
That does make sense. They can’t relate because they don’t have the same experience as you do. I suppose you’re more experienced in life than your friends. I’m sorry you are going through depression and anxiety. That can be difficult. Honestly, I wouldn’t reccommend telling your friends you go to therapy if they won’t understand. People can be cruel about it. Anyway, it can be hard to understand particular things that you can’t relate to. It can make you feel isolated, but believe me there are communities that accept you. I believe writing is good for the soul and can release whatever you feel. It is good and better than self harm. Not discouraging, if it helps you, but I don’t care for it since it landed me in therapy. As long as you can get those feelings out thats great, since keeping the load on you can be difficult. You know you’ll always find someone to listen to here. And I felt like I just rambled a bit, so yeah I’ll stop now before I feel like a fool.
I don’t know I feel like its beyond not being able to relate, it’s like I literally can’t feel the same feelings, maybe I’m an alien…j/k but seriously I sometimes feel like I’m fundamentally different from everyone I ever try to make contact with. And the writing mostly just helps me figure out what I’m even feeling in the first place, but the feeling is still there so I have to cut it out of me, like its some sort of blood disease, and I know that it doesn’t work that way, in the end I’m still left with the feelings, but in the moment when just becomes unbearable I cut just so I won’t kill myself. I just feel stuck with all these awful feelings and I keep waiting for something big to happen, but if I wait too long, that something will just be my death
You are not different. They’re just the weird ones (<< lame attempt at comedy). Anyway the cutting is understandable, after all the adrenaline rushed to your head and makes you feel more empowered. Writing is useful in spreading out your feelings and doing that will help you understand yourself a lot better. Maybe you just don't have a lot of insight into yourself. I think that people that you try to contact are the lucky ones who don't have a lot wrong in their lives. Tch, lucky ones. The feelings are difficult to express and are normally frowned upon anyway. Then again your brain could work differently? XD sorry, rambly moment. You're waiting for something, like stuck in a rut? Do something then! Change your routine I suppose or talk to someone you never talked to but think can listen to you. Spice up life haha. I'd just find something to do to bide the time over. I just hope it won't be your death.
I’ve tried the talking, I actually talked to a perfect stranger on this site recently, I told him everything I was feeling and thinking, things that I have never said to anyone in my entire life, nothing really important, but just things that I felt I needed to say. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that he either already has or pretty soon will kill himself. And I didn’t just talk, I listened and tried to help, and I know that it was beyond my abilities to save him, but either way, he’s gone. And I just feel like everything I do to “change it up” ends up making it all a bigger mess
Damn. That’s sometimes what happens on this site. You can rely on someone and then they just fall deeper into their depression and then they’ll die. Sometimes the mess can be also a way of changing things. They’re always interesting and you can always make more, but for yourself only. I think you should definitely just try to talk to anyone who is willing to listen, but try to stay away from the unstable ones kay? The people who will listen and help and talk and will not jump the bridge are the better ones to talk to.
But I don’t want to just talk, I talk to my therapist and she just listens, and it doesn’t make anything better, I want to share, share my thoughts and feelings and have someone share theirs. Just talking is like talking to a wall, or rock, or some random fucking website on the internet. Which is what I’m doing now and nothing is better, not even slightly, and just telling you all this, and knowing that you’ll read and respond appropriately doesn’t make it less lonely. And i know that you are just trying to help, and I’m sorry that it’s not working, but I just so damn tired of this constant loneliness
I know exactly what you mean. It’s so difficult to find a real somebody who you can share a totally open relationship with, and trust enough to tell them things you wouldn’t tell anyone else. It’s like there’s an empty space within you that you need someone else to fill, only it seems that person will never be there.
Yea exactly, except even when I do find it, or some semblance of it , it all seems to go away in a second, usually the other person ends up being nothing like what I thought they were, or I don’t know I guess they only want to talk and share in the beginning and get tired of it after awhile, either way, people end up being a disappointment
This poem sounds like the feelings and thoughts that go round and round in my head every day.
I’m not very good at emphasising but I think I know where you are coming from and I know that in my experience, feeling emotionally isolated from others can be very lonely.
maybe you do know, maybe you don’t either way, you can’t ever really be sure that anyone ever knows what you feel, I mean I can say sadness and you can understand sadness, but how do either one of us know the other persons sadness. If that makes any sense at all
I think to some degree it doesn’t matter whether I know what you feel but more of if you have the ability to explain it. I know how sadness feels to me, but I’ll never know what it feels like for others. I guess it’s more of having the patience to listen than to assume we can all feel the same perhaps?
Its not really so much not being able to explain myself or not listening, its more that I know for a fact that I can never truly know anyones feelings and knowing that there is nothing to change that, like I’m destined to fail before I even attempt. But you’re right, it shouldn’t matter, but to me it does, and it’s part of the reason that I don’t like life very much
I often feel frustrated and sad that I can’t understand others and their emotions and that I’ll never be emotionally connected to them. I end up feeling like I’m hollow. I don’t know if you feel something similiar. I know it doesn’t matter that no one can feel eachother’s emotions but even as I say that I find I don’t really believe it.
yea, like I’m empty, or so filled with feelings, that I don’t even know what to do with them or any new ones that I encounter or anyone else’s feelings, so that makes me feel like I’m emotionless, incapable of empathy and utterly alone. Its so pathetic, like I find things or invent excuses to be miserable, or since I’m already miserable without reason I try to find reasons or something
I wonder if a lot of people feel the same way? I always believed when I was a kid that everyone had this shared conciousness which was why they all understood eachother but I couldn’t, but perhaps most people feel emotionally isolated, or filled to the brim with emotions? I think feeling the way you say you do is a reason in itself that you may be feeling miserable. Certainly, feeling alone or emotionless can cause negative emotions and feelings for many people and I think you don’t need to have excuses to feel bad, sometimes you just do (or I do, this is all speculation and personal opinion, I’m not a trained therapist or a psychic!)
just knowing that other people feel isolated, even if it’s not the same isolation or whatever, it kind of helps, in a way, diminish it a little. Like maybe I will never understand people, but at least I’m not the only one who is incapable of understanding
Yeah, I know what you mean. I know I find knowing that others in the world feel similar feelings can be reassuring, especially as I don’t know anyone in real life who understands at all. Perhaps one day you’ll feel the same way, or perhaps you’ll meet people who see the world the same way? With over 6 billion people on the planet, the possibility grows every day 🙂
maybe, but in real life its so much harder because I’m limited to the people in my vicinity and they’re all the same, but different from me and it gets harder everyday
I know what you mean. But you have access to the internet so in theory there might be people out there? I know it’s not the same as real people that you can sit down and talk with (oh how I know this…) but maybe it can suffice until you access to people outside your current vicinity?
True story: some of my *best* friends I first met through online/Internet world.
So on a positive note, we are now living in the most ‘privileged’ era where a click away, we can go find and meet and even finding Real friends or people who can understand us.
And it’s not only sites like this blue SP site.
For example, I highly recommend u to try google “free MBTI test” and also “Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) test” as well as Indigo, Starseed test,…and even search/find artistic community/forums out there!
Believe me, this would greatly help.
Nobody likes and could live alone,
we humans are social beings, after all.
its 3 am …. and i finally got hungry and got up for the kitchen ….. it was so quiet and it was just me talkin to myself ( and i think my cigerrettes pack is about to empty as well , and yeah i played my guitar too as i have been doin for last 2 years – ever since i started playin…. but i only sing to myself …. i dont want anyone to hear me ….. even tho i know my neighbours are sick this by now …. but i just dont care anymore … let them sy im crazy …. i dont care … cas may be i am) for how long i cant remember …. last time i remember getting up to get a tooth brush from a local store around 11 pm ….. Gawd! i am too miserable …. i have been doin that for many years …. ever since i can remember ….. is my life ever ganna change??? am i ever ganna change ???….. cas i am sooooo sick of this ….. i have friends but i dont talk to them ….. am i too proud ??/ am i too shy?? …. people must know something i dont…. people must feel different about themselves … much better than i feel about myself …. but it doesnt matter …. i dont think anyone will read it …. just wanted to right …. is talkin to walls all night normal??…. answer NO…. its crazy and too weird …. normal people dont do that ….