Everyone has terrible memories.Â I’m sure most of the people who are here have terrible, heart wrenching memories that they wish they could just forget about.
I too have those memories.Â For some reason, they penetrate my heart and get underneath my skin that I have to stop what I am doing and concentrate on breathing or I might pass out.Â
What is even worse is knowing I caused these terrible memories.Â I do not know how to love myself anymore.Â It is so hard loving yourself when you pushed away the person you love most in life.
How can I enjoy life when I can’t stand my own reflection and would rather waste away in a lonely place away from my home…?
I wish I could still love the other people in my life who care about me but I am no longer the person I used to be.Â And I believe it is disrespectful to pretend I am okay to my family when I am not.Â I know they care about me and would help me no matter what, but I would rather try to make them happy for now then make them worried.
Anyways, I guess I am just looking for some guidance on how to deal with my memories from hell….