Stuck

I just did it
lifted some of the burden
got rid of some of the pressure
you told me that
once I do it
I should breathe
a great big sigh of relief
and so I did it
but I don’t feel it
it was supposed to make it better
but somehow I just don’t feel it
instead I feel worse
like I messed up
messed up worse than before
messed up beyond fixing
and now its done
so now I’m filled
with the shame
and the guilt
and the pain
and still that pressure
lurking somewhere in my brain
and all these things
they are growing
like a cancer
threatening to consume me
and since I did it
and it has been done
I can’t undo it
I can’t move on