These Comforting Walls

Cheek resting against the bitter metal of the safe, taking in the scent of the mixed smokes, i begin to lean back. Taking comfort from the cool walls embracing me with their heavy darkness, i slide my lids down. The feel of the soft stuffed Pikachu beside me as my last companion, reminds me of the pain inflicted that evening. I take a peak through the slits of the closet door, the soft light filtering through onto my neck and shoulders. Nothing. The silence adds to the electric shock of anticipation. Taking a final glance at the room, i see belongings thrown around, and two containers filled with our belongings.

The car doors slam, i hear the slaps and accusations through the thin crumbling walls. Retreating back into the grotto, i take more comfort from the peeling, cold walls than i ever did from my mother. This maternal den constructed of two metal makeshift doors, crumbling walls of peeling paint, and cement flooring that chills my legs numb shield my ears from the swift snaps of skin breaking.

My walls begin to quiver with the excitement of colliding furniture. My breathing becomes sharp, shallow pants, fear of the unknown drowning me from within. When will i truly witness my fear? With an answering whisper, the silence of the house creeps in, the door to the room sweeps quietly open.

My silent pleading ensues with a furious and queer intensity. Pushing myself further into the wall, as if the impossible could occur and i actually become part of that comforting, chilled wall. As if i’d ever become that chill that numbs my body from discomfort and pain. One last breath…i squeeze pikachu’s ear tighter, all the while folding into myself.

My metal slitted door squeaks open slowly…those hands, those strong and forceful hands. The hands that once cared so tenderly, with paternal love, now instill such fear.

“Hey…”, the innuendos of a secret smile hidden behind one word, “Were you trying to hide from me, again?”. Those fingers like cobras, slither round my arms and waist. With the power of secret promises, my limp body gives way…fearing the unknown.