“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grass waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday and no tomorrow. To forget time, forgive life, and be at peace.”
I’m going to kill myself and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been waiting for five years to do this and now it’s so close. I’d share my story if it wasn’t so tragically boring and normal. And I really wish I could ease the pain of all of you who are suffering, who are trapped in this miserable world, and who only feel pain. All I know is that I’m tired of being here and am looking forward to whatever comes next.
Anyway, the reason I’m posting is because I’ve still got a little time left and some money I’ve saved up for this final month. I’d love suggestions on things I should do (crazy or illegal if you must), maybe some books to read, TV shows and movies to watch, places I have to visit, experiences that I can’t die without trying.
I know a lot of us come to this decision because of emotional trauma, a hurt that will never go away, anger at God or the world, etc. That’s fine, it’s our lives and we should be allowed to do whatever we want with them. I just hope you can find a way to go out happy. After all, death will be so beautiful.
9 comments
I’m glad you’ve found peace… I’m still waiting for that moment I realize is my last, when I can finally do it. I think I’m just waiting to go on my trip to Ireland this summer…. Something I’ve always wanted. I found myself eating a steak the other day- I’ve been a vegetarian for 15 years! So I too am trying to do whatever I want. I suggest skydiving. It totally changed my life. Besides my dog, it’s the one thing I will truly miss because no matter what it always made me feel good. It’s so liberating and amazing…. You’ll love it! Can I ask where about you live?
What’s your method of dying? And do u know its going to be as beautiful as you say?
Jumper – I do plan on going skydiving with a friend in the coming weeks. I live in the US, Wisconsin to be specific. I hope you enjoy your trip to Ireland.
Girl Interrupted – I’ve purchased and received an exit bag from a group in the southwest. I’m going to use a gas, whether it be helium or ******** it doesn’t matter. And unless I wake up in front of Satan surrounded by brimstone and unspeakable horrors, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be beautiful. I know a lot of people are afraid of that big dark nothingness that might come if there is no afterlife/God. Believe me, that sounds like bliss. Living is hell to me and to quote the movie Dogma: “I’d rather not exist than go back to that.”
I want to die so badly and plan on hanging myself hopefully this spring or during the summer. Im just waiting for something to push me even further to actually do it. Living is hell for me as well. I’m just scared that I’ll end re living a shittier version of my life. Or end up in a worse place.
Obviously it’s a scary choice to make. No one really knows what will happen after we kill ourselves. I wish I could promise that whatever comes afterwards won’t be worse, however I just don’t know. But you might find that when you reach that point where you’re pushed towards committing suicide – you won’t care anymore… and maybe you’ll find peace in that.
If you get to see the other side, let us know what’s there.
As far as what you should see? Everything…
Look at it, really look at everything… Enjoy it. Embrace it. Breath it in, hold it and let it go… Listen, hear it all…
Everything is beautiful, just don’t oversell the other side…
I’d hate for you to get there and it not live up to your expectations. Cause from there, where do you go? Oh yeah, remember, why be earth bound? Travel the stars – space and time – and whatever else is out there our little brains can’t ration …
Goodluck, Good Journey,
If you want an accurate explanation and some real info on the transition, Google Tony Stubbs, Death Without Fear. Suicides tend to be taken to a hospital sort of place, and vibration is everything…depending on how much love you have in your vibe is where you will end up…the more love you have, the higher you go….that’s what this life is about…cultivating as much as you can…learning about what it is. This world presents all the challenges one needs to experience in order to acquire it. Good luck.
I agree, death sounds sooooo relaxing…
And being suicidal also has its good side. You find the freedom to do whatever you want and to explore your potential. It’s sad that we have to get this far to realize it, because life could be like that all the time. I hope you find some fun things to do, and maybe it’ll make you reconsider. But anyway, some ideas:
-Travel. Well, go and see everything. I know some people who have been to Africa and they say it’s nothing short of amazing.
-skydiving sounds cool. I’ll add that to my own list.
-firewalking. I’d imagine that to be a valuable experience.
-plant a tree
-a movie suggestion: “Equilibrium”. It’s an action movie, but I like the philosophical idea.
-I saw a youtube video once that’s called “100 things to do before i die”. Has some neat ideas, too.
-go to Japan and fix their reactors. They would appreciate it. (If you’re gonna die anyway…)
-get a hypothecary credit and buy a villa. (You shouldn’t mention that you plan to kill yourself…)
Things I would do (if you’re into that kind of shit):
– Burn down a church, or the flag of the USA (just to see peoples reactions; I don’t want to offend anyone here)
-Hit someone with a Pool Cue
-Drive a car into a building that says “drive-in” on it.
All the best. And … enjoy it.
Thank you for the responses. Obviously we all have our own opinions on what might happen after we die, it can be a scary subject to talk about; I just hope that everyone finds a way to look past the fear of the unknown (and the crippling belief that something worse is waiting for us) and remembers that it is indeed a journey that we all have to take.
Razor Wire – Awesome reply, I really appreciate it. I love your ideas, especially going to Japan and fixing the nuclear reactors. As for the destructive stuf, normally I wouldn’t think of it, but there are some people that I truly despise and it might fun to burn their car or something.