All i wanted was someone to care, to WANT to be with me and have me as theirs. That was all i ever asked for. I have so much to offer and give, yet i have nothing to receive. I’m done with being the one who keeps fighting for a lost cause. Sometimes I am happy and distracted, but only in public. Once the door shuts I’m alone. Completely and pathetically alone. Why doesn’t someone want me? I’m beautiful, happy (sometimes), optimistic (through out the day), passionate, and accepting. Â I keep telling myself to give it more time, eventually I’ll stumble upon someone. Â But nothing is the result. I’ve given it plenty of time, I’m done waiting. Was it really too much for me to ask to be held and needed by someone?
47 comments
47 comments
No, it’s not too much to ask for that. I know exactly how you feel. More than you might think. Though… except for the happy and distracted part. I’m usually just at home if not for school and school activities… which I’m not so much involved in anymore.
I know how it feels to want someone like that. To have someone just for myself. To have a person who is willing to be able to be with me as much as I for her. To be there for the good and the BAD times, without abandoning me. Someone who will appreciate the things I do and not take me for granted. I usually am alone now. Loneliness is all I feel. I pretty much give up on it…. but you shouldn’t. I’m sure there will be someone there for you. Someone who will appreciate and love you for who you are. You shouldn’t give up yet.
My distraction is school and the extracurricular activities at school. Other than that I’m alone as well. I am happy when i day dream. I feel so pathetic because i day dream about my mom or a friend hugging me. I can’t even get a fuckin hug from my own mother. I just want someone who will be here for me. I keep getting abandoned throughout my life. I don’t see how i can keep going if all i do now around others is curl up and retreat to my daydreaming. All i want is someone to need me just as much as i will need them. I hate knowing that no matter how much i cry out from the pain, no one will take it away.
Just a quick question, are you open to all or relatively picky? I guess one more… Do you go out and hang with the opposite sex or are you comfined to a small group of friends in your comfort zone?
I hang out with the opposite sex when i can, but most guys just don’t want to deal with me emotionally, they would just want sex from me. I’m a really open person as well, people note me as out going. I think that may answer ur question lostindespair
indeed it does. I’m afraid I can’t really help with the emotion bit, I’m emotionally retarded, lol. I know most guys just want sex, especially at a certain age group ( it’s hard coded in our brains) but there are nice guys out there
It’s so frustrating! I’m afraid that by the time someone gets the courage to approach me, i’ll already have given up. I feel like this loneliness is eating me away. I don’t know what i should do, there is only so much i can do to attract others.
If I may, a lot of the “nice” guys are shy around girls, and if you see a cute guy who is showing some interest (looking your way a lot, blushing/looking away at eye contact, etc) but not outright wooing you, I’d suggest confronting him. My ex asked me out going 60 on a highway, not really romantic, but memorable, lol.
Thank you for your advice, but sadly i’ve already acted on it. I believed a guy at school was crushing on me, cuz whenever i turned he’d be staring at me, when i’d smile hed turn away red. So i approached him and the minute i said that i was into him, he instead just said i was sexy and nice to stare at and tap. Sure, there are nice ‘boys’ out there. None i’ve met are emotionally ready for what i require.
You shouldn’t give up. I know how you feel. I want the same thing myself and has gone through the same things. I’ve been abandoned by everyone I cared for and trusted. It’s hard to have someone need you as much as you need them. I want a girl who would do that too, want me as much as I want her and need me as much as I need her.. but they all abandon me after they’re all well and better. So I know how you feel, but with girls instead of guys. I know how it feels to be lonely. It makes me hard to breathe and suffocate a lot of times.
I’m sure there is someone out there for you. I don’t see anything wrong with your emotions. Love is when the person you’re with is willing to be there for you and carry your burdens for you. I’m sure you’ll find that person. You shouldn’t give up yet.
I wish you luck on your quest for happiness Deep abyss. One day, hopefully soon, you will make some crazy girl even crazier over you. I’ll just keep on wishing for that to happen with me and keep taking chances. At least i have my pikachu.
“when something is missing in your life it usually turns out to be someone”
Emotions…. are tough to deal with. my ex left me for my problems, but she tought me valuable things. 1.) people are willing to deal with your problems and emotions, just don’t lump them on them, spread it out, and don’t dwell on them.
2.) comment on why you feel like you do, then drop it, otherwise they’ll see you as (incorrectly) self centered, they can’t understand what you’re going through unless they are going through the same thing.
3.) Love well, but in moderation. take things slow, but not at a dead crawl. keep them interested, but don’t throw all the cards down.
4.) keep options open, even if in a relationship. keep potential romances as friends, easiest way to heal a broken heart is with another beating next to you
btw, epic win on the pikachu comment
Thanks jaja i feel like such a dweeb, but i love my pikachu even if he is missing a tail! ^.^
I don’t think i’ve ever lumped my emotions on someone. I basically just lumped them all onto this site. I’ve dealt with all my issues well, just the emptiness/ loneliness is now my opponent. I just want someone who i can listen to them talk all night about themselves. Like i said previously :/ all im asking is for someone to need me just as much as i need them. *sigh*
I gave up on it. There is no one day. I already set out a date to go and a plan to go at it. I already gave up on it. But for you, I’m sure you can find someone. Good luck with it and dont’ give up.
were you using jaja as a polish term for father? and there’s nothing wrong with being a “dweeb” lol. I’m one of the biggest 😀
Don’t give up hope, I’m sure you’ll find someone, and I bet you’ll do it before me 😉
nooooooo… i forgot all about polish, i used jaja as the spanish equivalent of haha. What are you doing on this site? you seem too great to be caught here.
@ deep abyss
if you go through with it, I hope you find the peace and happiness you deserve, if I may though, you will find someone, just don’t give up. if relationships were easy people wouldn’t want them
everyone always forgets about us, lol. I could ask you the same question, and I believe you’d answer as I would. Loneliness is a powerful depressant.
Everyone tries to forget about polish men because they are notorious heart breakers >.> with their striking features and beautiful language. I wonder what it would be like if you weren’t lonely anymore, would you finally be content with life? or would you keep craving more?
@lostindespair: Yeah, well.. I was with others before, it always ends the same. I tried thinking of that and for me, it was an epic fail. And that’s true I guess. That’s why those who have someone who loves them dearly, take them for granted, yet yearn for those who ignore them.
lol, I’ve never heard that about polish men, but coming from a polish family, I’m sure we’re a wee bit biased towards ourselves…..
I think that is the question everyone asks, and the question is, I think, both. The key to being content is to keep it fresh, little surprises here and there, something as simple as a flower or a “thinking of you” and because I’m a dweeb, one of my favorite lines in book history:
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” ~A.A. Milne
@ deep abyss
We are, many of us, a planet orbiting somebody’s sun, unconscious of a lonely moon, orbiting our planet.
as I told Latika, sometimes the simple things keep a relationship alive and lovely. and I know how you feel, none of mine have worked either, been used once or twice, dropped suddenly 3x, and cheated on 5 times. it happens, and it really fucked me up back in the day. But the choice comes, and it’s turn back, or go on… I was too curious to go back
What you claim to have happened to you must be your delusions. You are too captivating to have been treated as such that you have briefly described.
lol, fancy words and actions are two different animals. I will admit I am very good at the chase (not to toot my own horn so to speak) but it’s the keeping. I have trust issues, and a lot of those. I also have self esteem issues, personal issues, and yeah. Not many people (girls and guys alike) can handle that. most leave. some cheat because I’m “safe” so to speak. and as to the using… well, life savings are a powerful motive for being with someone. then when those are used up… toodles
Those who leave are weak and don’t deserve those similar to ourselves. It is part of the journey to the deeper parts of love to overcome the issues of each other.
Jak smutny jest to co który spotykamy wykonywać pod tymi okolicznościami, kiedy rozdzielamy tak dalece?
beautiful language, huh? looks like a clusterfuck to me 😉
i only know simple sayings like, you are a rainbow, yes, thank you, i love you, etc. But polish has always been beautiful to me, just like russian has. Its the roughness of the words that i love, so much better than the spanish im too accustomed to.
I see I am not the only word smith here, lol. You seem to be wiser than me my friend
ah, lol. the old “familiarity breeds contempt” it’s the harsh languages that I can learn, I tried spanish for 3 years and never got above a 35% -_-
But I guess growing up with it helps the understanding
If i tried i could learn many languages. I simply have a ear tuned for the finer parts of spoken language. Remembering is another story compared to pronunciations, at which i excel. Are you young? you seem to be 20ish and it’s bothering me because i don’t know.
lol. damn, very good guess. spot on, actually. I am 20. You’ll have to tell me how you deduced that. and memorization and pronunciation is not my forte
It is easy based on your writing pattern and the flow of your vocabulary.
hahaha, alright sherlock. I’m going to guess it’s the lols and the smilees? I am at a disadvantage here, you know my age, but I do not know yours. (if you don’t mind my asking)
*sigh* what would you guess my age to be?
well, as I am about as observant as watson, I haven’t the foggiest. older than 16 is my guess.
Well watson was observant in the more scientific aspects of an investigation rather than the social realm in which sherlock commanded. I am 17. A disappointment isn’t it? to believe one so young as myself is dwindling behind the illusion of typical individuals of my age.
a disappointment? nonsense. and don’t get me started on science, lol. I’ll be spouting hawking for years. And as to physical age, I find it’s not a true sense of a persons maturity, emotional and mental age is far more important. I’d say it’s sad your peers aren’t more like you
I can say the same for you. I know too many of your age that are truly disappointing.
yeah, most of my sex and age are about as engaging as a slug. and morally decrepit. But in the end, I’m the loner, lol. what worries me is that I’m almost beginning to like it.
Being a loner has it’s benefits, like being able to think without intruding opinions. but the price is the loneliness that comes along. also you’ll be one of the first assumed for terrorist attacks and shootings -.-‘
lol, personal experience? and yeah, double edged sword. on one hand you’re free to be you, but on the other the supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves
May I add you on yahoo? I really like talking to you and I would like to talk to you again, but i have to leave soon.
certainly. just tell me what to do, I’m technologically challenged. and same, work at 7am. -_-
i get up at 5 am for school -.-‘… I’ll add you to my contacts on yahoo messenger and i believe it’ll send you a request if you want to accept me as a contact or not.
got it, do you need my yahoo thingy?
nope i already sent you a request 🙂
alright then, lol. have a good night. I’ll be on tomorrow around 1amish eastern time