A rant with no title

i just need to get this out you can say… its an rant
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If i am able to hide myself
if i am able to hide my scars
if i am able to cry alone at night
then what does that make me
what am i?
Has everything i have become
all fake.
Fake smiles
Fakes laughs
Fake happiness.
Has the things i become
a totally lose.
I just want to leave everything
give up on everything
all i want is to leave.
Im always scare with nothing for a reason.
Everything i did most of it i regret
the people i meet
those who try to help me.
Ugh i just want to bash my head against the wall.
His voice ugh his annoying voice
i just want to sew it shut
so i dont have to fucking hear it.
Same goes for everyone else
i just want to stab my ears
cause i dont have to hear it all.
Im just going to lock myself up in my room
but like thats ever going to happen.
Calling my name over and over
there is other people in the house
stop fucking calling my name.
Just stop everything
i dont want to hear anything anymore
i dont want to see anything.
I know im being selfish but i dont care.
This is what i want
this is what i need
maybe i should just leave
drop everything and leave.
I dont need anything
i dont want anything.
One of these days im just going to runaway
one of these days im not taking on the world.
If im lucky…
i could just go to the park
and drown myself in the river.
I dont want people to jump in and help.
I have my own problem’s weighing me down
it will help me sink faster.
I want them to know its too late
that i didnt need your help.
I try to much
i even ask for it
but what do i get.
Nothing! just nothing
only one person came forward
but that didnt help.
Im going to kill myself one of these days
i want everyone to know
that i have screw over the world.
That i have beat God at his own game.
Fuck you old age
im dying young
even if i have to burn in hell for it.