Lately I’ve been contemplating whether I should commit suicide but I’ve realized I don’t have the guts. I get scared and chicken out. I’ve been planning it out and want to die painlessly and simply fall asleep. I’ve realized my top method is to inhale carbon monoxide. Loads of it. Another option is overdosing on very strong medication.
The reasons as to why I want to die are a little amature. I’m only 20 years of age and about to get kicked out of college due to my poor gpa. I don’t know what will be of me if I get out. Also, I hate that college because I don’t have any friends what so ever. I love being at home but im always alone like I am in school. My sisters are off with their stupid pathetic boyfriends who seem to be their puppet masters. My mom is always angry and so old. She expects so much of me but I guess that’s the only reason why im in school. The pressure to satisfy my fuckin’ mom. Geez! I don’t know what I’ll do here. I feel trapped because I can’t even drive since i don’t have a freaking car.
Ahhh! I’m dunzo!
3 comments
Hi
I just read your post. And i have to say that I was on the same boat as you. For a year i was under the gpa graduation score. I was thinking about committing suicide. Finally just recently i graduated. It wasn’t easy talk to your professors. dont tell them u want to kill yourself. i mean ask for extra assignments. Now i want to kill my self for other reasons. i am unemployed and sick of it. I am been searching but no luck . It is about heart. It is true though some people have it easier than others. But if you stayed at it long enough you can achieve it. I didnt hate my college i really did loved it. but i wasn’t with my same race. i am also a lonely ************,…
I kinda feel like that, I want to die so badly but I know I don’t have the guts, maybe one day I will. I don’t really know about the carbon monoxide, but I’ve been researching pills and stuff, most pills will just cause you to vomit or end up in a hospital unless you have the right mixes and stuff, and that’s what I’ve heard from a lot of people. But one thing that has been working for me is sleeping pills, I took a few the other night and it knocked me unconscious, my sister woke me up after vigorously shaking me, haha.
Carbon monoxide, CO sounds like the best way to go. =)
@someonesaveme – Look up CO. That’s what I was talkin’ about.
@mizfit – Hey I’m 20 too. Female yo. ;D I understand what you’re sayin’. Yup.