Looking for understanding friend

am a 21yrs old female, looking for anyone who would like to communicate with me. am suicidal, have being for as long as i can remember, and i have no social skills at all, which doesn’t really help with my problem. i feel like an alien, its like everyday i struggle to understand human behavior, and why we all have to follow this unwritten rule of conduct. am looking for an anonymous friend who is going through what i am, please, am not seeking help or a preaching, if i wanted that, i would see shrinks or go to church, just want someone who understands. my email is obfuscate89@gmail.com