goodbye

so yeah i only got a few hours left to live. i’ve chickened out way too many times, you wanna know why? because i can’t find the right information about my fucking method, i THINK i’m able to block the carotid arteries, but i’m not sure. why? because there is no information on the internet and no one here replies, so fuck it i guess then, i’ll just go ahead and do it.

but still, this site is fucking useless man, no one seems to help. i’m not talking about help as in trying to convince me not to commit suicide, i’ve already made my mind, but i mean, i’ve asked 500 million times what the fuck you’re supposed to feel when you compress the carotids properly but no one even replies, frustrating as fuck. so one last time i will describe what i feel at the end of this entry/post whatever.

description: i get a weird sensation in my face, kinda tingly but not really y’know, i got a bit of a pressure in my nose, i feel a pulse in my head and then the body’s panic mechanism thing kicks in and i let go of the ligature. i seem to get a weird feeling in the back of my head as well. reason i undo the ligature us because i don’t wanna pass out and die in my room, i don’t want mum to find me.

Edit: ROGUE, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, COULD YOU DESCRIBE THE EXACT FEELINGS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GET, IN ORDER preferably. peace

now, could someone PLEASE just tell me if i’m doing it right? if i ain’t doing it right, what should i do?