untitled no words

August 24th, 2011by alone85

i’m 26, attractive , some people see my life and think i have it all together but on the inside i am crying cuz i feel as if my life has no pint..useless…live alone in a city i moved to from my homeland…no real frenz or family to go out with or do things with …so all i do is work and stay hitched up under my bf..who i found text messages in his phone to other girls…dont want to stay in a relationship just to say i am in one…dont want to nag him with all of my emotional baggage and daddy issues….feel so alone …like my life has no point ..no one understands me or knows the real me …i keep everything inside and feel so insecure and not good enough for anything or any body…i feel as if i will never be able to own a home, no man will ever go down on his knees and ask me to marry him, i will never have kids , never be successful …just want to curl up in a ball and cry …just stop existing …dont want to be a burden on anyone or make anyone feel guilty …just dont know how to end this pain..or how to make myself feel better…so for the mean time ..i try to jus drink and smoke and sleep….dont want to go to hell …dont want to hurt my mother…dont know how to feel better..just want to stop.

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