So my ex took his life about 3 months ago and I still can’t get over it. I can’t sleep. I have night terrors or dream of him and honestly would just rather be awake it’s less painful. I’m not sure people realize how taking your own life leaves people. I will never be the same person I was before he took his life. I have a sadness that will never leave me. I feel guilt, regret, and sorrow that is unimaginable. I have love and anger towards him. I have so many emotions that I can’t handle. I don’t think this is fair. What could anyone possibly do to deserve feeling this way? I want to b a happy person, but that right was taken from me. His pain is now mine and I don’t see how that’s fair? I would never wish these feelings on anyone, and don’t understand how someone could wish them on me. So if you’re thinking of taking your life please reach out to me and I can tell you what it feels like to live with this decision.
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2 comments
Leaving my mom behind is THE main reason I’m alive… That and social anxiety and nervousness scaring me out of getting the things I need to do it. I’m worried about you though. You can’t hold yourself responsible for your friends death. You can’t let his decision hold you hostage. You still have the right to be happy. You must understand that people who lose loved ones to suicide are 20 percent more likely to do it themselves. And by not forgiving yourself you run the risk of driving yourself down the same path. I’m no doctor so I don’t know if talking to people who are suicidal will help you or hurt you. I can tell that you are a good person. Being angry @ yourself and/or your friend is a feeling you don’t deserve to have. I hope you seek help along with possibly helping others.
He probably did it to escape how you’re feeling now. Can you survive the pain?