I’m simply done with life. Â 57, not terminal or depressed.
I was going to use the plastic bag, but too many failed
attempt stories. Â I live in an apartment bldg, in
California USA & if someone hears me moaning
inside the bag & calls the police, it’s BAD news for me.
I’ve tried dehydration 4 times & have always failed
& had water.
“COMPASSION & CHOICES” recommends VSED –
look them up. Â Once I’m weak, Hospice
considers me terminal & helps.
Hard candies of all flavors helps with dry mouth.
I’m determined this time will work, tho it could
take 3 weeks to die.
My will is made, my cremation paid for, my DNR form posted on the wall, all goodbye letters written & stamped.
6 comments
Can you fill us in on what is going on, why the desire to die? VSED sounds pretty hideous….just sayin….stay with us a little longer please…maybe we can help, if only with a few kind words. ?
My grandpa jus turned like 57 i think. i haven’t seen or heard from him in a while. Reading this kinda makes me worry about him.
57, HIV+, health declining after 20 years. I decided years ago to refuse HIV treatment.
More than that, I’ve done everything I wanted to in life. I was at Woodstock 1969, I marched with Harvey Milk, I worked over 11 years in SPCAs to help animals. I was a maedical marijuana WORKER, & a right-to-die advocate.
Why do people get so freaked out that I want to die simply because I feel finished?
Years ago, men died in their 50’s & 60’s. Now that men can live to be 85, does that mean WE ALL HAVE TO STAY HERE TIL 85?
(Look up “SANTHARA” – Jain’s way of doing VSED in a spiritual way.)
I’m on another attempt at dehydration. Something always came up to deter my plan.
It’s going much better this time. After 3 days of no food, I have no more hunger. Having no liquids is a lot tougher, but I’ve built up my courage & determination. I’m more willing to suffer dry-mouth, & I won’t “cheat” by eating frozen grapes (they contain enough liquid to delay death).
I’ve lost 50 pounds so there’s not much for my body to live on itself.
Some people might find this an agonizing way to die. It suits me. I’ve put the plastic bag on my head 5 times just to experience it – held w/ only my hand. It was awful = gasping for air, & it gets hot inside the bag. I’d never do anything violent to myself, & tho I live near the Golden Gate Bridge, I’m not jumping.
VSED indicates, in most cases, that the person (me) isn’t depressed. A depr’d person wouldn’t wait 3-5 weeks to die slowly.
I’m very much at peace. I’ve made amends to all my friends & family. I’ve been an Atheist, but talked w/ several religious people about death. I believe I’ll go to a nice place, & I’ll recognize those I knew in some way.
The dry-mouth is the hardest part of this method. At times it’s really hard to swallow. So I go to sleep for a while. There are lozenges at Walgreens (chain store) that make your mouth salivate, & they work great.
Comments, questions?
Can you tell me if it worked or did you give up again? Is it painful? Is it noticeable to those surrounding you?
Hi Woodcut, are you still with us?