I’ve tried the few times when I am alone. To fill up the bathtub sink below the water. Let out all my breath and some how try to find the courage to breath in. As hard as I try I can’t will myself to do it. Why won’t I just die. My husband found me trying to overdose on pain pills Why won’t he let me die I can’t give anymore can’t he see I’m selfish, stupid, worthless, lazy, I’m a bad mother, and have no ability to bridal my emotions why won’t he let me die.
2 comments
if you breathe in is your gag reflex kicks in and you jump up and start coughing and puking up water, you’re not breathing in because you’re not an idiot.
he wont let you die cas he’s your husband and thats what they’re supposed to do. would you let him die? what if your kid was setting up a noose in the garage- would you be like “oh.. well they’re miserable anyway, good for them for taking some initiative.”?
Why won’t he let you die? Because he loves you. He is blinded to your pain by his love for you, the same way that you are blinded to his love by your own self hatred. So I guess the question is, which is stronger? Doesn’t his love for you negate your own feelings of worthlessness? Love is the most precious gift anyone can give… can you try to accept it?