Just a rant about it.

I trusted them with my life. I told them everything about me. They were probably my best friends, yet they decide it’s okay to do this to me. How can they not see a problem with ignoring me, yelling at me, and treating me like this? After all I’ve gone through… I can’t do this anymore… I wonder if they would feel bad if I wasn’t alive tomorrow. Or would they feel relieved? Would anyone care..? Honestly, I don’t know if I can live through this much longer. I want to know what I did to deserve this. How can this be the path God has chosen for me? Is he trying to make me stronger? Because I feel like I am slowly falling apart. I am not strong enough for this. I feel like crying all the time, I feel like dying right now… How am I expected to make it through this? I can’t even trust myself anymore, let alone anyone else… I’ve always put everyone else above me. I would give my life for anyone else, even a stranger, or someone who may hate me. Do people really not see through the fake smile on my face? Have I become that good of an actress? So good that no one can even tell the pain I’m living through every day of my life? Sometimes I wish people would think about what they say, words hurt. People remember what you say for years, maybe even the rest of their life. Think about what you say before you say it, you have no idea what people are going through at home, or what they are trying to defeat within. The happiest person may be the one who is completely falling apart. One wrong word could be the last one they hear. You can’t expect every one’s life to be as perfect as yours. They could be going through things you can’t even imagine, they might already hate themselves, and you aren’t helping them. I wish everyone would just stop judging people. Outsides are nothing like what’s on the inside. Personalities can be easily faked. Smiles and laughs as well. If you expect that someone is going through some hard times, be there for them. The last thing you should be doing is stabbing them in the back. And if that person opens up to you and trusts you, don’t take advantage of it, because that could have been the hardest thing that person ever did. If you take advantage of that, you should give yourself a good look in the mirror, and decide if you really want to be that kind of person. You probably don’t. Trust is the hardest thing to give out, and once you lose it, you aren’t going to get it back. Each person only has a certain amount of trust to give out, and I’ve used all mine up. I’m done trusting people, they only hurt you. I’ve learned that giving someone your trust is basically giving them an open shot to break your heart. And the majority of the time they will. People are horrible; it just takes a lot of heart break to learn that.