Im sitting here with all these thoughts going through my head….all these thoughts are depressing, heartbreaking, they make me angry and make me hate life even more.
Lately the only way I’ve been able to escape these thoughts is to go out drinking. Im only 15, but for those hours when Im drunk I forget about EVERYTHING!!! I’ve lost friends because of this but I am making new ones, they are what you would call the DODGY crowd.
It’s hard to stop because when Im sober up all those feelings hit me all at once and I feel so ashamed when I walk past poeple at school that saw me in a drunken state.
I would stop, but it’s hard! I need an escape. Drugs are being offered to me all the time and I can see myself saying yes oneday. My life is already screwed up, wtf am I heading now?
7 comments
I am not in a position to tell you what is wrong or right but I personally can say this is are not a permanent solution. The best is to talk it out with someone!! If you wanted I can be a great listener! So can you tell me whats being in your life?
Are you on any kind of medication?
No Im not on any medication
Don’t rule it out as an option. If you truly want to get better, then try everything, councilling, medication, everything. The kind of self-destructive behaviour you’re talking about, doesn’t take a genius to see it doesn’t fix anything. I understand why your doing it and I’ve had my stints as well, but you obviously know it doesn’t make anything better
I’ve tried the whole coucilling stuff…clearly it didn’t work. I don’t know what to do, I’ve been cutting and thats not enough for me and I know that if I get my hands on any medication I’ll probably try overdose.
To be honest, the drugs won’t help. I was the exact same when I was 15.. I’d go out with friends who were ‘the dodgy crowd’ and drink + smoke weed all the time because I didn’t want to think about reality, it was the only way to block it out and have ‘fun’. then when I was offered ecstacy.. speed.. cocaine.. I took it. It didn’t solve anything though because like you said, reality and all of your feelings are waiting for you when you sober up. So yeah, it’s your choice but just remember it won’t solve anything at all. It’l probably just make things worse, especially if your family find out or whatever.
Move in with me.