I don’t know how much longer I can get up in the morning and hide the fact that I just want to get it over with. I know my past decisions have made my life what it is today, and nothing I do can change what I should have done differently in the past. Regret hurts, it’s like having a hole in my chest and sometimes I can’t breathe. It’s getting harder to pretend that tomorrow will be better when I know it wont, I know there is nothing I can do to make up for the regret.
I regret not doing better in school or continuing my education, I could have been someone in this life. I regret not staying in the military and retiring, I could have done something in this life. I regret not getting married and having children, I could have been a husband and dad in this life. I regret not being closer to my parents, my brothers and sister, my nephews and nieces, my cousins and their children, and even my friends over the years instead of just being another picture on facebook in this life.
Every day I just want to end it all, break free of this life of regret.
1 comment
We always have regrets, but I’ve learnt to deal with them by focusing on the present, as well as on the future. Some people don’t like this because they think refusing to look at the past is like denying their own identity. But really, to me, it’s the present and future that counts, and it’s less of denying yourself and more of self-acceptance. Sign up for a course in something you like, go out and meet people if you feel up to it, and there’s still time to get to know your family and friends. These are things you can do NOW, and if you keep doing them today, when they fade into yesterday you’ll have fewer regrets.
I hope I don’t sound like I’m trying to push my opinion on to you. Really do hope you’ll see some hope, and from there, mould your tomorrow.