When I get to the barest very most essential of my turmoil it really comes down to a choice between death and change. Change beyond anything I or everyone close to me ever imagined me capable of. How is such a choice obvious or easy? Whatever I choose my life will soon be over.
Looks like I won’t be sleeping much tonight again.
24 comments
The Death card in a tarot deck symbolizes transformation, not a literal physical death. A major change, upheaval, crisis, all that- with the potential of coming out better than before, like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly.
I’m not saying I believe in the tarot, I just like the idea of death being a metaphor for a new beginning. Killing a way of life that’s no longer useful in exchange for a more fulfilling existence.
And yeah, it won’t be easy. What country are you in, by the way?
I dabble in the Thoth Tarot (yes really) so I’m aware of the death archetype. Right now I live in Spain.
Oh OK. Right on
@ Absurdist; Do you have any other metaphysical interests? I only ask because a relative of mine also dabbles (and actually makes money) in natal chart readings, tarot readings, etc. Despite my skepticism, it is always interesting listening to what she has to say. Nothing wrong with hearing somebody out.
Some people honestly make a living of such things without meaning to swindle their customers. The problem is that it’s hard to distinguish between these and cold readers at first glance. I was very keen of these things when I was a teen from kabbalah to spiritism. These days I just take it easy with my tarot deck and some astrology I learned by osmosis coming from a family that firmly believes you can determine basic personality traits with it.
Ok. Fair enough. I’m a Pisces sun, Aquarius moon, Libra rising, she gave me the whole run down. Do you know your sun/moon/asc, and do you mind divulging? (Not trying to hijack your thread, btw)
no! dont say that.. you helped me, a lot! truss me!now it’s maybe my chance to help you! I think that death is not a solution, not now, not ever! You have to make a good choice and the only good choice I see for you here is to make a change! and not only with people and yourself, but with your stuff. Do something with your home. Something that will make it feel different ! or buy something you always wanted ! or do something you always wanted. I dont know, but try to do good things in life, even if you feel like you dont wanna it at all! It helps! Just dont think of death.. I know it’s hard, actually its almost not possible but just try! People love you and you have to remember that!
@DontWantThis
You’re so kind. That really did bring a smile so thank you for that. I haven’t decided anything yet but all possibilities are on the table. Change is so hard and if I couldn’t change back then for the one I loved I don’t know if I’ll have it in me to change for myself. I am tired of it all quite frankly. Still you have brought new data to bear, that being little kindnesses do get repaid 😉
@lucy4
I don’t mind the “hijacking” you’re one of the few that does reply to my posts and I enjoy these conversations as well. Mine would be Taurus/Virgo/Leo although there might be some margin for error there since I’m not a 100% sure of the hour of my birth. Since you like these things I can draw your personality and soul cards if you like.
@ The Absurdist; It’s up to you, whatever. I don’t ask people for favors, I just like hearing what others have to say. As trite as it may sound, how come interesting people want to kill themselves? Why can’t all the Justin Beiber fans off themselves instead? I don’t get it…. I found a documentary the other day about people who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. There’s a guy named named Gene Sprague who was captured live on film jumping off. It’s pretty gnarly. Seeing this guy pace up and down the bridge, occasionally looking over the edge, engrossed in thought….and then eventually climbing the rail, and falling over backwards. Wow. It’s on youtube if you want to google it. Takes the romance out of suicide big time. It highlights how brutally violent gravity can be.
@lucy4
It would just be a couple of quick calculations based on your birth date. You could even do them yourself and tell me the results so I can draw the cards. I don’t mind, I enjoy doing these things, it’s fun observing friendly people and interpreting makes the cogs in my brain clankclank.
Should I feel included among the interesting suicidals? My how flattering.
If you really think about it it makes sense most suicidals would tend to be interesting. After all to even consider suicide you have to be very sensitive and with a lower than average capacity to delude yourself. If there’s something to be said for sorrow if that it gives you greater perspective and insight.
Damn the crap human body that robs everything of its rightful romanticism. In the end the insides are made from similar stuff of what you can see hanging in the butcher’s. Such a drag.
@ The Absurdist; Why yes of course, you’re one of the interesting misfits. Accepting the notion that life is temporary seems foreign for planners who are caught up in the day to day struggle of existence. Whatever, we’re only gonna die.
Here’s the info: Feb. 26, 1968 @ 9:42 pm, San Diego, CA. USA (Monday night, 56 degrees Fahrenheit, no wind).
@lucy4
Got this then, your Personality and Soul Card are both the Chariot (they’re not always necessarily the same but it happens) and your Growth card for this year (=as in challenges, tasks, prevalent in any given year) is Art. Let me think about this.
@ The Absurdist: OK, thanks. I have no idea what that means. I like motor vehicles, and I was named after a Roman Emperor so that explains the Chariot……? As far as art goes, it’s either lazy poetry or loud music. (That’s what I create). Occasionally lackluster literary attempts. Lemme know what you come up with, and if I can assist you in any way don’t hesitate to ask. Thanks again.
Gimme a minute, I’m still trying to organize my thoughts to tell you the meaning exactly.
Take your time. No rush.
@lucy4
Okay, so personality card shows our outward representation, the means we affect the world around us, the soul card the inner qualities to be developed and the key to the inner self. In your case both of these are the Chariot basically The Chariot is the symbol of triumph after the struggle,conquest, victory and overcoming opposition through your confidence and control of unshakable forward motion towards a higher goal, occasionally even single-mindedly which requires somtimes planning before the motion is started. “I move through life triumphantly.” The Chariot represents the principle that the human Will functions only when the whole being is behind it. This card is about the struggles we have with ourselves and with life. It asserts the need/drive to assert yourself and be bold and maybe even channel your agressive impulses.
Growth card (=challenges and tasks for the present year) is art. Art is the symbol of transformation through inward creative power , achieving balance and unification of opposites “My life shapes itself in a perfect pattern around me.” Things coming together falling into place. At its very best it can signal a massive breakthrough into a totally fresh consciousness. After having struggled, fought, grappled for understanding, and maybe suffered more than a little, all effort will become worthwhile and important.
Oh boy do I need more practice. Well, there you go.
@ The Absurdist; Thanks, I owe you one. Come to San Francisco & I’ll buy you a couple of drinks. (I’m not gay, by the way).
Well, hope that was mildly amusing or something. It’s the fourth interpretation I do and the other 3 using myself and 2 people I know well seemed accurate so this one should be, hopefully.
What’s this about your being gay? Where did that come from? Either you think I’m a girl (I’m not) or you’re a man calling himself lucy?
Yeah; Many people think SF is nothing but gay folks. Not the case. I’m a hetero male. Just wanted to be clear. The name is a ruse….I’m deep undercover….
Welll that was surprising. You could have gone with something gender ambigous like Casey, Frankie or Kim. Being a male using a girl name in the internet is a bit juvenile, only teenage trolls do that. Hehehe.
There’s a large Chariot population here….
Hmm. You don’t get it. Say it out loud 3 times. Go into a dark bathroom facing the mirror.
Ah, I see.
Thanks in all sincerity Absurdist. Now I know why you hate mimes—because you’re French. Hahaha. I don’t trust them either.