Yet another attempt

I thought today was THE day. but I was wrong …again .I got my rope ready and decided to hang myself. I was dangling for a while with tears rolling down my face and the constant sound of me gagging. The pain was horrific! I started shaking and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. My rope had snapped! WHY THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN AGAIN. I was so close, I could feel myself drifting off into a better place. But no! life has to screw me over again and again. Why can’t I just leave. Im tired of this. But its not over yet, I’ll just have to try again.