Darn It!

So this week from Monday to Wednesday (today) I’ve tried mutiple attempts to killing myself. And now I find it worthless! I’ve popped a combination of pills and nothing works! I’m quite mad actually and I don’t understand why it’s taking so long. I’ve popped double even triple the dosage and mized them too. It’s ridiculous. I’ve come to the conclusion that people don’t generally care and that life is pointless. I have a court case coming up and can’t afford it nor the consequences, whatever they be. School is stressful and I have no one to talk to. My mom’s a female dog, I don’t think we can curse on here, and never pays attention! It hurts plus everything in the past is coming out from the sexual abuse, the bullying, to my dad leaving and rejecting me I hate it all and don’t understand why I have to get screwed over. And what makes matters worse is there are genuinely great people out there that get the brunt of life not wanting it and it’s horrible because it’s like I’d sacrifice my life for them so they could get a better chance you know? I’d take their cancer, their AIDS, their disease or disability and give them my life so they could experience it. Because my experience with life has been far and plenty and personally I’m tired of it therefore making it worthless.