anybody out there i understand exactly how u feel. I come from an abusive but religious home. my father has been physically and emotional abusive my mother who in turn takes it out on me maybe it makes her feel better. my older brother just got released from jail for murdering one of our neighbours 11yrs ago. i was raped at age 19, got pregnant a few months later then aborted my child( i regret it since but now dat i think abt it, i wasnt in a fit state of mind then so i’m hoping God forgives me someday). i quit my job coz i absolutely hated it so bad dat i used to cry everyday on my way to work. lately the thought of suicide is on my mind all the time, i pray about it, dream about it and i plan it to the last detail but when i’m abt to do the act i chicken out all the time. i think of dis guy i love with all my heart and i see how devasted he will be if i do it. he says i neva loved him if i kill myself but he doesnt understand how i feel. i guess i scare him as well and myb he wants to help me but after all the things i said in anger i dont suppose he will ever forgive me. he stopped taking my calls and now all i want is to hear his voice.
what people dont understand is dat once dis dark hole has gotten u there’s no way out. and these voices outside my head they dont want to go away and i cry all the time. i wish things would be different and i could get away.
its not dat i dont believe in God i just want all these bad feelings to go away. i dnt feel like i have any strenght to fight anyone.
i dont think i’d do it coz i just want to be happy but he leaves me and never talks to me then its really over.
he makes me happy and whenever im with him my problems disappear and i feel loved, appreciated, cared, sexy, desirable and worthy.
5 comments
If he makes you feel loved, appreciated, cared, sexy, worthy, it means that you ARE. Even when he’s not around, you are.
I’m sure god forgives you for your abortion.
You didn’t mention what religion you are but I’m going to guess based on the information you gave.
You stated that you hope your god forgives you for your abortion so I am assuming that you follow a Christian religion as they seem to be extremely against abortion (it is interesting to note that other religions are not against abortions or other in other religions it is common for the women to be punished for getting pregnant and they might even be expected to get an abortion).
The god of the Christian religion is generally depicted as an all-knowing, all-loving creator. So, my question to you is, did this god create the universe and life as we know it while at the same time knowing that you would get an abortion which he would then disapprove of? If you would like to continue to believe that your god and all knowing and the creator of the universe, then you must assume that he has already forgiven you for your abortion. However, it is more logical to accept that a god does not exist because of this contradiction and many others I could outline if you want.
@suicidetalk Says, …….. question for you and I’m really interested, Which religions are not against abortion, and which would expect a woman to get one ?
I think its a really personal thing, especially for a woman.
My first wife and I had 3 abortions before we had my first child. I am devestated that we did what we did. We have long ago divorced, yet have spoken about the abortions and the what if’s. I would think if there is a creator abortion may just not be his favorite thing for humans to do.
@Kgalalelo, 10 yrs seems short for murder.
You said all your troubles fade when with the boyfriend, hopefully this person is marry material.
@caucajun32 Following is some Wikipedia info meshed with my own thoughts.
I am not sure but I would think that Islam might support abortion (maybe not formally). Muslims in under-developed countries often abuse their “wives” (the marriages are forced after all) even more after they become pregnant. But I am not sure if the religion typically sanctions it (and since male doctors are not allowed to treat women and since women can’t get an education… I doubt one would ever happen). But it does seem like something the men in this culture would support.
Although there are different opinions among Islamic scholars about when life begins and when abortion is permissible, most agree that the termination of a pregnancy after 120 days – the point at which, in Islam, a fetus is thought to become a living soul – is not permissible.
So, continuing:
The Dalai Lama has said that abortion is “negative,” but there are exceptions. He said, “I think abortion should be approved or disapproved according to each circumstance.
I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote that women would be expected to get an abortion – I realize now that it is completely false. Maybe I just made a mistake when I was writing about religions that support abortion rights. Anyways:
The Unitarian Universalist Church strongly supports abortion rights. In 1978, the Unitarian Universalist Church passed a resolution that declared, “…[the] right to choice on contraception and abortion are important aspects of the right of privacy, respect for human life and freedom of conscience of women and their families.” The Church had released earlier statements in 1963 and 1968 favoring the reform of restrictive abortion laws.
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Religion_and_abortion
And since we are one the topic, you may want to see what the Bible has to say about sex (be warned, some of these are hilarious and you might just find yourself laughing at your own holy book. If you are suicidal, your god might just decide to throw some lightning at you or something.): http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/sex/long.html
The following one is one of my favorites: “God establishes his covenant with Abram: “This is my covenant … every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin.” It seems that penises are supremely important to god. 17:10-11, 23-24″
If there is an all-knowing creator then he created the world knowing that he would be made unhappy by abortions. If I were you, I would tell him to deal with it. But since I am not you and I don’t believe in that nonsense anyways, I won’t.