I’m new and old at all of this

I’m 27 I can’t take it!!!!!last week I tried to do it. I waited for my boyfriend to go out and I slit my wrist. He came back before he should have and found me. If he had just left me a lone i’d be dead. I injected a dose of drugs that should have killed me, but didn’t. My depression, drug use,cutting and weight are out of control now. I have thoughts that everyone would just be better off if I was gone. I know I will. I don’t know what my next step should be: live die whatever.

gone