I’m Scared, Did Something I Can’t Make Up for… and I Wasn’t Even Mentally Aware

Long story short, I feel like it would be better to die then live through the pain, guilt and agony knowing that I did something to people that loved and cared about that they can’t forgive and hate me for. I was on Cymbalta, yes prescribed by a Doctor and about after 3 weeks on it I got in an argument with my GF’s Grandfather in the car, I was told to get out, later he dropped my phone off to me while I was walking back I guess, I don’t remember everything, just what I’ve been told… anyway I assaulted him through the car window when he came to a stop and attacked him and the car I was told and that I threw something in the middle of the road at the car and was attacking traffic… I’ve tried talking to them awhile after the incident and they won’t talk to me, and the last time I talked to my GF at the time she said she still Loved me, but she just stopped talking to me… I’ve been to Jail for 20 days, and got Bonded out, I go to Court on the 7th of November. Her grandfather put a restraining order on me for him and his whole family, and is pressing charges… and they won’t talk to me, I was living there since May 2011 and the incident happened 3 weeks after being on the drug, the incident was on September 21st… I showed no signs of aggression like that or even close the whole time living with them, and I don’t know what to do, I still can’t get over the whole thing, it hurts so bad knowing that I did something to make them hate me, especially my GF at the time, that it must’ve been so bad that they won’t even talk to me now… I feel like dying and ending it all, the guilt, pain, sadness and hurt never go away, it just eats away at me.