in my shoes

After I stopped going to school during my senior year when I was going through “hell” to be blunt, which led to me dropping high school all together.. most people thought I was a “slacker”, “lazy” and just wasn’t smart. I learned, well it’s more like I didn’t care really what anyone thought, and I still don’t.

I hate to be cliche, but everyone’s different.. I read your earlier posts and I really feel for you.. I’ve lost multiple people to suicide and it’s just… unreal. And getting out of bed and just having any motivation to go to school has always been lacking for me.. having to routinely go to school was extremely hard for me, especially having to go after sleepless nights. I don’t know what I could say to make the pain go away.. because there are no words.. but what helped me a bit was actually doing independent study and working one on one with teachers and I found it to be a bit more exciting and less conventional than a normal school, and of course I would schedule when to come in. You could always look into that?

“The Earth is not a cold dead place”, maybe sometimes it is.. but it definitely does get better in the end,.. there’s always a glimmer of hope. I actually feel a bit hypocritical since I find it to be dead here, but alas it should be different for others. And you do seem to have strength, especially after all you’ve been through to actually get up in the morning and go to school, it takes a lot to do that. So I commend you for that, it’ll get better eventually.. just have to be patient with the world. Take care.