suicide attempt!

hi im 16 and i tried to commit suiside last night,my brother and mother were gone to the city and i was alone in the house.

all that day in school i was feeling pretty low,im in my second last year at (high)school and i was listening to my sad music on my phone as i walked home from the bus stop.i entered my cold dark empty house with no one there accept my two dogs,i went up to my room and cried a bit in frustration at this life i didn’t seem important and totally pointless.i always keep a razor blade in a little box in my dresser,took it out and slowly cut a vertical line up my wrist just to feel the pain,then wrote down my feeling and thoughts in a note book i keep i call it my suicide book,i wrote how i cut myself.i went outside in the dark ,wet ,cold yard and into my shed and took down the dirty old rope my older brother hung up on the wall to keep the shed tidy, brought it inside and tied it up into a ‘hangman’s noose’ ans tied the other end to the top of our stair case and before i knew i was standing on a chair with it around my neck and ready to go,but i wasn’t i had so much fear and i dint know why,it scared me ,i wasn’t able to kick it away and i dont know why,everyting uncontrollably  rushed thought my head about my family and teachers and my neibours,in one way i hoped if i did it others would follow and be brave like i was.for along time i stood on that chair until a car drove in our driveway and it was my mam coming back i rushed to get it off my neck just in time.this was my first proper suicide attempt,i probably will try again but id have to be totally alone.