I don’t understand what’s going on in my life this week. I have a lot to tell.
On Tuesday my parents decided that because I’m doing shitty in math (like 30%), I no longer have an Xbox. I was having a wonderful day until I got home and they threw that on me, I gave myself the motivation to ask out a girl I liked the next day. Suffice to say after that evening I didn’t do that the next day.
Today I told her she looked pretty, she sorta stared at me and awkwardly thanked me, I felt awful after, I don’t think she likes me the way I like her. And after which I got into this huge train of thought about how the hell I’m going to ask her out now or do anything later, she’s super quiet and we don’t connect. But she’s beautiful and I already love her.
I fall in love too easily.
After that, I was told I was suspended next thursday because the substitute teacher in math is a douche. When I got in the car and told my parents, my mom just said, “What is wrong with you?”, and didn’t even turn around to look at me. I started bawling.
I came home today and took a nap. I’ve been doing that the past few days, I just come home and cry myself to sleep. There’s something wrong with me, I’m doing shitty in school and I’m really fucking depressed. I don’t understand one bit of it. Right now I just want to fucking sleep for a week, I’m sick of being awake. I’m more suicidal than usual, I have a way to kill myself and I’ve been preparing things the last few days just in case. I don’t want to, but I’m going to go insane otherwise and potentially hurt more people. I won’t, that’s an exaggeration. But I’m scared. I want someone to tell me I’m okay, but that would be a lie too.
I honestly don’t know why I’m even posting this here or thinking about everything too much, I’m just really fucked in every way right now. I hope someone can understand what I’m trying to get across.
4 comments
that sucks :L. And i find it wrong how you get suspended! Try studying and raise your grade up and maybe you might get yiur xbox back. I cry today and like on tuesday cause i was super depress lying to everyone that i was okay or i wouldnt like and i tell them that something is wrong but i dont tell them what. Sometimes i even cry at night to. I guess my thoughts are over powering my everyday life. :L its good to post on here you can get everything out on here.
Would u mind telling me what u got suspended for? lads in my old school were doen brutal shit nd not suspended… there again im irish so thats considered normal. Maths is designed for one reason. to make peoples life a misery, im sure if u just bull shit ur way through it u bound to be able to survive. and if u dont feel like posting just drop an email to me or one of the others nd we all be willing to talk
first of all, there is nothing “wrong” with you. i hate that we have a hard time people always assume that its because something is wrong with us. like we cause your own misery and they don;t get why?
there is nothing wrong with you. you are having a hard time…
Unless you have a certain personality talking to women can be horrendous.
She is either going to say yes or no.
Hard getting up the confidence but after you do it will feel like a relief.
Practice in the mirror. Practice with a friend.
Is there any way you can get tutoring in math.
It is not easy to understand for quite a few people.
Ask your teachers or counselors at school
There may be college students who do it for free or even some of your own classamtes that will help.
You are perfectly normal.
Nothing is wrong with you.