dead

i do not feel te need to live anymore, at the moment i have no place to go. i can stay where i am now februari and i don’t have a place to go. the only thing would be going home (im 16) but i do not want to. why the hell do people life? the whole life is shit! maybe if you would have someone to live for , but i do not. so why i can’t i just get run over by a car or something? it feels like i am living a dream, like this is all not real. i am really afraid of the future and i hate being here in the present. i found out that the world is a cold place where it is everyone for themselves. and i hate myself. how come that i want to die more everyday? i kind of thought to kill myself when i turn eighteen, for some reason i cannot imagine myself living after that. you probably all think that i am a teenager who is struggling with puberty and hormones. i am kind of just hoping for a miracle which will give me a direction in live. i really sincerely believe that life equals only shit. for me at the least. the thought of suicide is really bothersome, it keeps stuck in your head until you do it, at least for me.