Dawg: I doubt that the sinus infection would have much effect on my method of gas but I also have a little pleurisy to go with it. Like I commented before, I want this to be like laying down for a nap with absolutely no pain or discomfort involved.
I was flipping through the channels yesterday and came across an old Star Trek re-run in which Warf said “it is a good day to die.†That got me thinking, what would be a good day to die for me?
First I assume that my eventual fate will or cannot be changed and that I only had (like) a Genie wishes for the way my last day would run. Keep in mind that I intend this to be strictly hyperbole and is not meant to demean in any way another person’s predicament.
First, the day has to have perfect weather with hardly a cloud in the sky, Humidity about 30% and a light breeze blowing between 5 and 8 MPH. (that would be about 2 on the Beauford Scale), the temperature around 76 degrees F. ( 24 degrees C) Â and a nice tanning index. 😉
I would wake up at about 9 am, and have my busty companion (brunette) preparing me Eggs Benedict, Papua New Guinea coffee and OJ mixed with Champagne.
After breakfast, I would get dressed in my designer clothes and my companion would put on a light cotton dress with a red bustier and a wide rim hat held on by a scarf.   Shut up, it is my fantasy.
Leaving the mansion through the garage, I would walk past my Bugatti Veyron EB 16.4 and opt for the more conservative Jaguar XKR Convertible 5.0 Liter V8 Supercharged with the 1000 watt stereo option.
I would then drive up (or down) a coastal highway stereo blasting, going at least 80mph with the convertible top down. Around 1 pm we would stop at some expensive snooty restaurant for lunch and I would order two giant lobster tails with 8 ounces of hot clarified butter and a side order of steamed broccoli. I must have the broccoli so the meal will be healthy. We would then conclude with healthy Tiramisu.
When we left the restaurant, I would drive another 45 minutes to a marina where I dock my Formula 40 cabin cruiser and then proceed at high speed along the coast line. Of course the waves would be minimal and the trip would be smooth. Just before sunset, we would stop in the water and watch the sun set below the horizon. Due to perfect planning and navigation on my part we would be only 5 minutes from the marina. We would tie up at the dock, and my companion would give me a gentle kiss on the lips, and I would give her cab fare to get home and I would go sit on the end of the dock and croak peacefully. 🙁
Now wait a minute before you complain, did you really expect this to have a happy ending? At least I gave my companion cab fare to get home so she would not have to watch me die…that was damn considerate of me.
Hahaha, where is a good Genie to grant you many wishes when you really need them. None around! Story of my life!
On second thoughts, if I had the beautiful brunette and she was into me for me and not my millions, I might decide to live a while longer at the last minute. I guess I will never know.
Have a good laugh on me. 🙂
49 comments
Jeeze ya stingy old coot … you don’t think you could give said busty brunette companion the Jag to get home?!? it’s not like you’d be needing it!
broccoli … to make the meal healthy! Oh … that’s rich!
Cheers,
fantasy dawg
Dawg. Hey, what do you mean stingy?? I left her the $1.5 million dollar Bugatti in my will.
I want to be buried in my $120,000 Jag…is that too much to ask. 🙂
I would gladly ride home in a cab for $1.5M.
🙂
Fair enough … but you seemed to gloss over those details on ye first go 😉
what are they gonna do … shoot ya? 😉
observation dawg
Dawg. My first thought was “Irony” and the second was “humor” in my rant.
Of course, if I had wishes like that, dieing would probably be the last thing on my mind.
I would skip the 40 foot boat and the Bugatti since there is nowhere in the United States
except a race track that I could really drive a car like that. Of course I would have to have the Jag
convertible; that has been a life long dream, as well as a great looking female companion. Finally I could
make a million dollars last for the rest of my life.
So cutting back to the bare essentials, I would not need a mansion to live in, I do not need eggs Benedict
or designer clothes, I do not need a 40 foot boat and I do not need a ton of money. $50K a year for 20 years
would be great. The most essential thing I would need to make it all worthwhile is some foxy lady at my side
and of course be healthy enough to enjoy it all. 🙂
All those things have been missing in my life for quite a few years…but I can still dream.
DR 😉
if you had everything you wanted you wouldn’t want to due btw u shud watch American Beauty seriously…… great movie similar to your fantasy in some aspects
I hear ya brother – you’re preaching to the choir. i’m a good 20+ years your junior and I know I could make 1 million last me a lifetime where I wouldn’t have need (notice I didn’t say “want”). it one point I was almost worth a million – on paper – but that day has past – now i spend my days ducking collectors who are worth billions but still can’t seem to write off the lousy few hundreds I owe them – can’t get blood from a turnip 😉
So I certainly got the gist of your rant and can appreciate it.
debt dawg
Deadright, Hahaha! I needed that! But, what about waking up before dawn, bungee jumping from you skyrise condo to your custom chopper which you blast to your private jet, to skydive into a hidden scuba diving nook in Thailand with 3 blonde Russian “open-minded” triplets as companions, spearing brunch, then blasting out on your speed boat to the mainland to hop your concord to the Alps where you get dropped in from your helicopter, snowboard down, and all climb on your own snowmobile to your hidden lodge for your final meal with your 3 best female friends before laying down for your last nap? I think a tricked out SUV and exotic sports car can fit in there somewhere too. Oh and don’t forget a AK-47 assault rifle for you, a few Skorpon submachine guns in for the ladies and a handful of dead terrorist spies if you like; hero style. The ideal exit plan. I know Dawg agrees. 🙂
I could be down with that … except for the “spear your brunch” part … unless there’s a Baconfish I don’t know about … oh and I’m deathly afraid of heights … which is kinda odd for someone who isn’t terribly afraid of death 😉
hog dawg
LoL. I think I’m going to watch The Phantom Menace.
Nice 😉
Lon is @ James Bond 007….. 🙂
adastra, I wish. I’m a cross between the Terminator (motorcycle), Predator (camouflage), Aliens (meat eater), Leonidas (abs), the sick dude from Apocalypto (tats), Gladiator (I was once a Commander soon to be a slave), Cobra Commander (always lose at the end of the episode), Conan (my workout and life is like pushing a giant wheel all day every day) an Imperial Stormtrooper (untreated PTSD diagnosed by Amakua) and the Punisher (I dual weld .45s). Hahaha, yeah right.
Lon3…..I love the Punisher movie!
hey Lon
Are you hiding from me now?….lol…if so i wouldn’t blame you in the least….now you see what i do with my pain….lol….i share it….sorry
Still Love Ya
Amakua
Mwtele, the Punisher (Aka Frank Castle) is the man! Great comic books too!
Amakua, NO WAY! I’m here you you like you’ve been here for me.
I’m going to toss in Clone Wars 🙂
that movie…the first one really hit me. kind of pissed me off because I would have done the same thing he did. I loved my family and damn sure would have done the same thing he did for pay back
NO…i’m not going to do that…lol. just really liked the movie. My movie….who I see myself, my life as is City of Angels….I gave up a lot and look where I am now.
ready to play some mw3????
Played a little. Watching Star Wars now. I went to a comic book convention and met Thomas Jane the actor who played the Punisher in the movie, while I was dressed as the Punisher and I was 3 times bigger than him! I think he was pissed, he kind of brushed me off. I regret to this day not getting a photo and autograph 🙂
lol…..wanna play later? I don’t know how to add you or anything. my psn name is the same as here i think….i need my son to show me how to do that. but keep this stuff quiet please!
the dirty dozen – Hell Yeah!
franko dawg
Mwtele, I’ll send you a friend request.
but my son isn’t here….what do I do???
oh Dawwwwwawwg,
Come out and playyyayyy. Seriously dude…anything you would like to share?…obviously and self-admittedly not the usual Dawg checking the perimeter here today….what’s up?….wanna share….play….tell me to piss off???….lol
It’s all good Dawg
Just wanted to let you know i care
Amakua
Wanna play with Dawg too but he has broken xbox’s. come on Dawg….get with the big boys. ps3 is the way to go…lol
and oh yeah….it’s mike…not mwtele anymore
Mike – you send me a PS3 and I’m in BIG time 😉
run and gun dawg
well i have a broken one…not sure what’s wrong with it….got hit by lightening…lol
it would be nice to have us playing this coming week. i may not be able to play after next week 🙂 but 🙂
wait……:( but 🙂 that’s it???
i give up…too many buttons on this keyboard
Dawg…did you read my comment about your comment about that person that you comment about that blog? that last sentence when you were talking about her….that’s you!!!
Money had to go to keep my cell on 1st … one of these days I’ll get back in the fun world of gaming.
what’s it?
quiz dawg
I would will my ps3 to you but my son needs it. Lon3 can play modern warfare with him. I just don’t know my sons psn name though.
LMAO – Dude – I just got an aneurysm trying to read your last statement
spun dawg
i know….i was going in circles….lol
this is why i hate this site soooooo much. i was pissed as hell and now i’m laughing. stop it!
Nice one Mike,
glad i’m not the only one who came to that conclusion
lol at Dawg
Amakua
there’s plenty of hours in the day to wallow in misery – in the mean time it doesn’t hurt to have a good laugh 😀
dawg
I thought I had all the Star Wars movies on DVD…I’m damn missing some…so much for being the nice guy and letting people borrow shit.
yeah….my back hurts. LOLOLOLOLOL. you feel me Dawg…lol. I must say it is wonderful being here and i hope that all those that come here feel the same thing. this is a healing place…..a place to dump everything inside that no one would understand. but for some, me, it’s just a place to say goodbye…..sad face
dawg has em all 😉
just no goddamn functioning xbox grrr
conflicted dawg
lol dawg….stooooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
It is mike, it really is. it gives us all a place to converse with like minded folks and spread a little gallows humor that hopefully lifts us enough for another day 🙂
upwardly mobile dawg
not that my vote counts for much in the testosterone palace but i say don’t stop Dawg….i think you should get him….sick him…you go Dawg….this one is soooo asking for it….lmao….at myself as usual
Amakua
Lon – don’t you have video on demand? … of course I’d hate to pay for something I thought I owned but it could work in a pinch.
luxury dawg (without the GD xbox)
There is no Star Wars on Netflix either. Yeah, I have video OnDemand but I feel the same way you do about paying for it.
I watched “Fanboys” on DVD, that’s a pretty funny movie.
come to my post so we don’t hijack…whatever that means….
Hahaha! Okay.