Helicopter Harassment

I have been under surviellence by the narcotics division and feds for almost 4 years now by helicopter (every single day 365 days a year), and under other surviellence for over 6 years. I used to be into dealing drugs and long story short, convicted of multiple drug felonies. I was so deep into drugs ill give you an extent, I did 78 Exctasy pills, 10 hits of acid, smoked 7 grams of crack, snorted 3 grams of coke, snorted heroin and was still alive, I consider myself a recovering addict but the side effects have haunted me for the past 7 years. I have perma trip which I think is from the E pills not acid, whenever I look at anything for more then a couple seconds it starts waving and moving. I was high for 2 weeks after that day and it ended up with me being chased by a helicopter. Anywho, I sold my soul to the police in exchange for me not getting raped in prison after looking at 20 years min. I regret what I did and please dont talk shit I beat myself up over it everyday trust me, you cant make me feel bad about working with the police I already know what I deserve and what I would do to somebody if they snitched on me. With that being said I am going crazy. Seriously, everytime I drive ANYWHERE I am followed. Call me shizo? Nope, have this documented, multiple people are aware and know this is fact not fiction. For the past 6 months its been 2 helicopters every night from 5pm till 7am then the ground units are still always watching me during the day. I dont think you can understand this stress until its on your doorstep, for 4 years straight I have been followed by this helicopter, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO YOUR HEAD??? IT MESSES YOU UP!!!! My only way to cope was through doing BDD to myself, its a pyschology term for when somebody hurts their own body. I wasnt cutting myself or anything like that but picking at my skin till id bleed, I dont know why i mainly would on my crack binges but then it became a way to escape everything. Ive had 13 freinds commit suicide in 4 years, and lost 5 others to accidents. Ive come to terms with death and am not scared. I feel its the only escape from what im dealing with. I am honestly Im not dealing drugs im not doing anything, when will this police harassment stop when its been going on sooo long. I am sick of it and everything that has become of it and who ive become from everything. I used to have everything, over 100k saved in stocks and I was a freshman in college (rich family), tons of friends, good job, now im jobless, about to be homeless, a rat (which I hate), in debt, convicted felon, no freinds theyve all died. Im just ready to be done, I have looked into death alot and feel its going to be the best feeling anyone could imagine, no matter what, if its suicide or if its natural. I am excited and just felt like telling everybody that is suicidal I understand, I myself am going INSANE