Life seems to be getting harder and harder to live. Emotionally I feel destroyed. Sometimes I don’t think that I can go on. I feel like my life is a mess because of the decisions that I have made. It hurts so bad. I have a young son that depends on me. He needs me but I feel worthless. I don’t think I can take anymore heartbreak, nor do I want to. I havn’t felt joy in so long. My depression stays with me day and night. I feel like the walking dead and that I’m being punished or something. I want to live but I don’t want to live feeling like this.
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2 comments
you need to find a reason to live. maybe its your son, maybe its not. but if you find a reason you’ll love being alive every single day. if you have a job, take 2 weeks off and travel. by yourself. leave your son with family and go by yourself, dont tell anyone where you’re going, just go. take the next boarding train to wherever it goes. spend some time alone and once you feel like you’ve had enough of yourself go out to a bar or restaurant or something and talk to people. feel better.
The best part of recognizing that you have made bad decisions is the fact that you now have the chance to make good ones. The past is the past and no one can change it. I made a shit ton of awful decisions, and wanted to die because of them. I worked really hard to learn how to make the right decisions which takes a lot of failing and picking your self back up again but I’m getting there. I’m not banging my head against the floor anymore (literally). You also have to fight the depression it can be a illness. Sometimes you can fight it without anti-depressants and sometimes you can’t. It hurts, I freaking know and it is so hard to get out of the hole of depression once your in it but you can. You are so brave for telling us how you feel and you are not worthless, I promise. You CAN do this.