I tried to find a different way, tried to reach for help. No one cares, even here. Seems like a pretty big sign. I have an idea, just need to iron it out. Going to start a notebook, make a list of things I need to do, letters to loved ones, figure out how to leave my car to my sister, stuff like that. I can’t swim, I think the ocean would be good. I need to wait so I can make car repairs to make the drive to CA. I’m not sure if I can.
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I know how you feel. I always feel like people just don’t care about me. Like if I were to disappear, it wouldn’t make any difference to anyone. Even though you don’t know me and I don’t know you, I care. I care because even if we are both alone, we are together in that.
I reckon you’re about to learn how to swim my friend. I hope so. I too am trying to organise my end which is pretty damn inconvenient as it’s taking ages, goodbye letters, the ingredients required, clearing out my stuff so others don’t have to and making sure my house is clean….seriously lots to do. I have a life policy that will provide financial security for my children but it won’t pay out on suicide, any ideas on how to make an overdose look like suicide, I don’t have the nerve to do it any other way?