i find im happiest when i read a good book, so i guess i should read all the time…
im also needing your opinion on something….. am i bipolar?
becuz like this morning… i woke up really happy and ready for the day… then my sister gave me attitude and my whole day was shitty in till i hour ago when i started reading…. Â and some people ask if I’m bipolar… but i don’t know if i am.. it just made me think… i don’t think i am.. but I’m not sure anymore.. so if you this i am or I’m not please let me know. i know you guys aren’t doctors or anything, but it would help.
also…. I’m trying… i did cut today.. but I’m actually gonna stay strong this time i can feel it.
I’m going to start eating right again.. I’m going to try to forces myself to sleep.. even tho I’m scared to sleep becuz of nightmares…i know sleep will help me if i get more of it… cuz usually i never go to sleep till 2:30 or 3 and i wake up at 6:30 every morning to get ready for school. and i get up, have a yogurt. then at lunch i take one bite of my sandwich and eat something small i have and put the rest i have left back in my bag.. i never finish my lunch…. and when i told my mom I’m getting sick (the cold) she said its becuz I’m not eating right. so my emuin system is down (sorry for my spelling, hopefully you know what I’m trying to say) and then at supper i eat more then i have at lunch…
and i never have snack.. i usually just drink freezing cold water if I’m hungry….
-Morgan……RawrImaTurtle!
13 comments
Hey, what a great start!
About the bipolar thing, I don’t know because you said you feel good when you read and bad when your sis gives you shit, which doens’t really mean your bipolar, that’s just logical behaviour isn’t it? But either way, does it really matter? does it change things, if your bipolar or not?
Anyway, good on you! Keep us upadated
Well my sister thing was just an example. Some days I can be happy for no reason or sad for no reason. Lol but yes I don’t think it makes a difference. And thank you 🙂
Im bipolar fire away why dont you google it its a hard one to diagnose i beleive there are on line tests you can do to see if you might possably have it there are 5 in the bipolar spectrum i have the worst one bipolar 1 google bipolar 2 and see what you think i cant diagnose you but it might give you more of an idea if you research
Molly woppit
Yah I thnk I’ll do that. Thank you. 🙂
Hey Morgan,
My vote is no bi-polar….but you could still be diagnosed with it if you really want….but nope….your difficulties are because of your emotions not thoughts…..you are extremely sensitive to others energy….others affect your moods like your sister….must be confusing….but not a disease…..a condition
This is why I suggested asking for help…..you need to try to understand and control your very full strong range of emotions….cuz right now…(normal to some degree for a teen) your emotions are controlling you….that is all. I myself have seen no evidence of mania…but I don’t live with you….lol.
My best friend is supposedly bi-polar….not that I care….people is people….but it is like she has two distinct personalities….you I have only noticed one….down….no real up just less down. I could and have been wrong….but not tooo often.
And just so you know….no one here can diagnose you….not even me….cuz we don’t know you’re whole story….no one knows what started this for you….you haven’t really shared it. I understand that you have trouble talking about certain things so I won’t push….but don’t give up…..you’ll get through this….it will be a thing of the past before you know it….if you do the work to heal yourself.
Please go back and reread the comments from yesterday….yours, and all the others….and think again…..then let me know what YOU think YOU should do.
Lots of Love
Amakua
Amakua
Thank you so much. I never really thought about it that my emotions are controlling me.
@amukua good to see you. I was worried!
One_day…..do you ever sleep?…lol…no need to worry about the likes of me….kinda like I don’t worry about the likes of you. Neither one of us has a problem letting our thoughts and feelings be known. It is just that we have different ways of expressing the same things. I know what my issue is….ayup….I have Asperger’s….and sorry…we are some of the most compassionate folks on earth….we just don’t understand social….so if I crapped all over you in an attempt to explain myself more clearly…..I apologize. That being said….I am also more literal than the average Joe….that is why I must ask strange questions….even in one on one conversations….I sometimes miss something obvious.
I just wish we could figure out how to communicate better…I have admired you since I first got here. And no I’m not into anything strange…at least not anymore….too old and tired here. But for some reason….we continue to butt heads …and that is not my wish. I probably know more about you than most here….another aspect of my condition. Maybe we should just attempt to learn more about each other and our purpose here? Let me know….my memory is unfortunately functioning toooo well…lol.
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday…..she is feeling pretty bad and her doctor is not aware of what is going on. After a long story…she says that she has only been ill for a short time….since a work accident 5 years ago…..I laughed….and then asked her if she really thought that….Almost 25 years ago is when her troubles began…..I know…I was there….and the only reason they did not hospitalize her at the time…..but the first physical symptoms are almost as old. She argues that she wasn’t sick at all. So I ask her, “Well do you remember the night that Steve called and asked me to come and take a look at you….he was scared and you were refusing to go to the hospital?…..she says, “Oh yeah”….wasn’t that about some drug or something the doctor gave me?” OMG….I asked her if she remembered what the drug was and why it was prescribed. She could remember the why….migraines, vision disturbances….but not the drug…So I tell her….the drug was Imitrex….and when I finally got you to the ER….the doctor says you were minutes from a major heart attack and said he wouldn’t be surprised if there were some serious heart damage. OMG she says, “How can you remember all that? And how can you remember a prescription I was given over 25 years ago?”
Well that is my problem in a nut shell one_day. It seems that I never forget about things I should never have remembered in the first place. All my 50 years of experiences for some reason is available to me as if it happened today. It drives my poor family to distraction….but since my last suicide attempt and subsequent NDE…I have full memory….fortunately the strong emotions are not present for the most part….almost like reading a book about my life and connecting with it….but it doesn’t seem like my story anymore….like someone else’s story I have picked up and can relate to but not feel so strongly. Is this total detachment or a mental disorder?…lol
That being said….I am an empath….a sensitive….an enigma my GP calls me….lol
and if there are two sides to a story for most….there are now three for me….mine…yours….and the books….lol. I have been in therapy of one kind or another since I was a small child….I can now out therapize my therapists….but it isn’t helping me at all. If I told anyone my truth they would not hospitalize me….they would put me in the friggin’ circus…lol. That is my true purpose here….to find my kind if you will….but while I wait…I try to help….as you are helping….please don’t ever think that it is personal when we disagree….it is usually because one or both of us gets so emotionally involved…that we miss the point of the poster in the first place….and I will admit it is usually me. My emotions still overwhelm me sometimes…but that is not an excuse…just an explanation….and I will try to behave myself more in the future. Promise….I didn’t come here to cause damage to anyone…least of all you….will be more careful in the future.
It’s all good
Amakua
@amukua, I’m gonna send you an email. I don’t know if you got my last one though, so look out for spam.
Hi rawrimaturtle
I don’t know is the answer. Despite what people have said I’m not going to agree with them just for the sake of it. I am still of the view that you might think about seeing speaking to or seeing a specialist. If nothing you try is working then there in no harm in exploring all of the options. I just want things to improve.
When things upset me I have a set back too. Even the smallest things I make a big deal over and I can’t stop dwelling. So I understand that.
I used to have the same sleep problems when I was your age but it changed when I got older. I then found I was sleeping too much.
Sometimes when you worry about something you can find it difficult eating. Even when it’s something you like. I found that when I was on Mirtazipine I was eating too much but on the Duloxetine I went days just on a piece of toast. But I suppose the over/under eating was a way of well I can’t explain it.
My nan used to say the same thing as your mum and she was wrong. Her way of helping was to stuff me with protah (a sort of pancake type thing)
Duke
Lol thank you. And I’m starting to ear right again. I’m having cereal in the morning instead of yogurt
Hi Rawrimaturtle
I glad you like my email. It was a bit lame though.
I’m pleased that you are eating properly. I’m not pleased that you cut again. I know it’s hard to stop but we are here for you.
I still think you should do some research. I know it’s hard when you think your parents don’t understand. The truth is they never do and it does not mean they don’t love you.
You have to find a way to get help. It might be hard at first and the things that you try might not work at first but keep going. There is no doubt in my mind that you will overcome it. There are lots of girls that have been through what you are so it’s very common and you are not alone. Different things work for different people.
duke
yes i love jokes, especially cheesy ones 🙂
and yah… and i haven’t cut in 2 days 🙂