my safe place

is there such a thing as a safe place? because i want to go there! somewhere the weather is always hot and the water is always cool to the touch, a place where people respect me and strangers who don’t know me love me anyways. i want to be understood, i want the world to see and know how I’m feeling. but no one understands, not even you… we are all different and i believe that no one will ever help me regain peace and happiness and i want it back so bad! i remember wat it was like being happy and laughing. i remember being with my friends and hoping the day wouldn’t end, but that was then, and this is now. now the world is a hopeless, endless pit where i have to strain to keep going. its hard enough living with a bitchy mom and a douche stepfather, the only thing i have left is my baby brother, i keep living for him, i guess he is my safe place in a sort of way. he doesn’t understand me because hes too young, but he loves me, and that’s all Ive ever wanted i guess… why do i feel so hopeless? i tried that god thing and it didn’t work, i tried that Satan thing and that didn’t work either. i tried acting happy but that made it worse… i try but i never succeed. its because i’m a failure, my life is a failure, and all hope is lost for me. the only way to get through this is to end it all, but wat if i make the wrong decision? wat if i kill myself and it ends up being the worst choice i could have ever made? but wat if i do it and it ends up being the best choice? i’m so confused right now! plz plz plz help me…