I don’t know what to do, when my ex and I were still together, she told me that i was a liar… How could I be if I had never spoken untrue words. When I thought telling her a certain something, no matter the consequences. I still told her faithfully. I was over at a friends house, whom my ex didn’t trust around me only because she thought that I would cheat on her, I still told her where I was. And once she told me that she was furious with me. I walked to her house, in my worst allergy, the Sun. Through out the walk she told me, “No I don’t want to see you, please go home”, through my phone. Still, I was persistent. I had to correct my wrong, to reassure her that nothing happened and that nothing would’ve happened… Once I got there, I found out why she didn’t want me to see her. One of her friends were with her, one I didn’t particularly trust around her. I was so enraged, I was extremely upset. I had told them both to ‘Screw off”. My ex had ran after me and I told her, simply, “If you don’t care about me and only your self, then I shall spill my blood, bite my tongue until the blood soaks my shirt.” She didn’t stop me… And only said “Okay”…
Now, a few months have past and her and I are over… No sense in being a relationship that was one sided, to which only one person benefits. I swear, if I weren’t as caring as I was. She would’ve never kept me around, only because I was whipped. True and through. What ever she wanted, I made it my goal to get her it. After all that pain, that I still remember, I have found someone… Someone who has fallen for me, not my kindness. Not my past… But me, for myself. She has fallen for me because of what I know and how I treat her… Never will I harm her, or let harm come to her. She believes I am her guardian angel… And it’s true, I am. But, a guardian angel, who is but human. Not angel. My intentions are more then angelic and demonic. I will fall to make sure she’s safe, I will embrace the darkness, abandon the light, to keep her safe. I will give everything to make sure she’s safe and happy.
Even though my wrists are scared, my knives and razors bloody, I am happy. I will not give up, determination fuels my god-like intentions. Love is my weapon, and I know how to use it. With love, in hand. I shall strike down all that threatens her. She is my one. My only hope. My love. Mein licht. If some one harms in, physically or emotionally, I will be there to serve proper judgment. I will avoid bloodshed, unless the need arises. In which case I will take the punishment that is given. No matter what it is.
Still, that pain lingers… The pain that my ex had caused me. But… I feel the wounds slowly healing. Sealing up and stitching back together… My heart slowly being put back together. When I’m near her… I find the strength to protect her. To keep her safe no matter what the problem is.