I died. I actually died this time. I was dead at 11:11 pm. My heart stopped beating. And the bastards revived me. A stomach pump, activated charcoal treatment, and psychotherapy assessment later, I’m laying here in a hospital bed. Again. They let me keep my iPod, since it qualifies as therapeutic for me. I just…can’t believe it didn’t work. Im a failure at life and a failure at dying. God. Damn. It. All. Why am I still alive?
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5 comments
i’m so sorry about your pain.:( 🙁 but maybe it just isn’t your time yet. i know that’s a sucky thought when all we want sometimes is to just die but i believe there is a reason your here. i’m glad your still here. 🙂 i know i don’t know you but i’m always here for you and i care.
I am glad to see this as I have been checking back wondering if you were still with us. I would take this as a sign that you are loved and needed by more than you think. I wish you nothing but happiness. Hang in there! Life is about surviving challenges. It’s not as dreadful as you think. Each life experience is a lesson and makes you that much stronger.
You’re such an unlucky bastard. My greatest fear in attempting suicide is surviving and having to “struggle for live” and see everybody feeling comiseration and pity for me. What a nightmare! Hope you recover soon.
laughed in relief when I saw this post. you say you’re a failure at life…but you seem to survive an awful lot. heart stops and here you are..seems to sort of be a sign that you, in fact, are quite good at living
Gawd that’s terrable there’s nothing worse than hospital but at the same time I’m glad you are alive…