Forever not being able to sleep and having nothing better to do then rant on the internet.
I feel like death because of almost everyone I know and no one has ever bothered to ask me what was wrong.
I’ve been like this for 3 years. It’s not a pleasant feeling, as most of you probably know.
I need to stop putting people before me and concentrate on my own well being for once, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
I am too concentrated on making me more socially acceptable. Even if that means less eating, and changing myself far too much.
I hate feeling empty, it’s the worst feeling in the world. The presence of losing someone, not by death but just even a friendship tears me apart.
I no longer know what to do, I am rarely happy and I can feel my body telling me to smarten up. The constant muscle aches, migraines, and of course my cutting addiction is no good. But I don’t plan on changing it; I physically can’t. Something bad happens it’s like my barrier, something that I can always fall back onto. My friends even know and they don’t acknowledge it. They usually pretend they didn’t see anything and continue on their merry way~
To whomever reads this, thank you for listening to me rant.
I’m always here if anyone needs something as well.
3 comments
My “best friend” told me suicide is just quitting and she refuses to go to anyones fuuneral who commits suicide…so yeah im in ur same boat
I feel exactly like you, but im mainly on here to find people who feel the same way i do. i feel like im alone in this life.
The best thing in your post is where you said you need to stop putting people before you.
What is socially acceptable? That is illusory control if you think you can change yourself to fit some projected ideal. Best thing to do is be true to you, and think well of yourself in the process. When you practice this approach, you nurture and cultivate so much well being within yourself. Because you allow yourself to feel good unconditionally.
Your happiness is not dependant on other people’s response to you. Your happiness is dependent on you and your choices that serve your highest and best interests. Period. When you make this you intention and your priority you will experience a neat shift within yourself and life simplifies itself as this is how it is intended. Our thinking process confuses everything. This is golden information. I hope you take it to heart and apply it. The courage to be selfish is good as far as your well being is concerned so you have nothing to lose as long as you always have your wits about you making decisions that are make from a place of unconditional love for yourself. If no one ever taught you this, allow me to introduce it to you. There are too many fantastic gals on this forum, that with the right info and direction can experience themselves to be awesome empowered people they deserve to be. Cheers!